The marriage institution – Part 15

Today, we will examine further the early warning signs of a failing marriage. If you notice any of these signs, then you should take an active role and attempt to resolve them before the divorce becomes inevitable Proverbs 27:12:
 
When both of you used to have frequent conversations, but you hardly do so now: Communication sets the tone for every healthy relationship. In a growing marriage, partners should talk to one another about their daily lives, goals, memories, and aspirations for the future. The need for cross-pollination of ideas, arguments, and listening to each other’s opinions is the basis of an active connection between married couples. If you can’t remember the last time you felt like talking to your husband or wife, then it is time to work together and change this behaviour to save that “failing” marriage Genesis 2:25.

When contempt is slowly taking the place of mutual respect: Whenever your partner talks, do you roll your eyes, sneer, or make caustic comments? People who have a healthy relationship value each other’s opinions and thoughts and do not mind listening to the other’s viewpoint with patience and understanding, and this becomes important when they disagree. No matter how annoying your partner’s argument maybe, he/she deserves your attention, time, understanding, and respect. If you feel that you and your partner are becoming intolerant of each other’s feelings or thoughts, then chances are that your marriage is getting into trouble.
 
When you are both becoming rigid in your arguments: Do you rush to defend your viewpoint during every argument with your spouse? Do your discussions become endless sagas of heated comments in which neither of you concedes, but only protect their position? A highly defensive and rigid stance in an argument signals that you do not want to participate in a fair discussion with your partner. If every debate leaves you justifying your actions or behaviour, the foundation of your marriage may be under stress, which could lead to a failed marriage and eventual divorce, if not addressed Proverbs 15:1 Proverbs 25:15

When intimacy is fading gradually: Intimacy is integral to the close bond shared by couples. Intimacy does not mean sex alone, but also romance, handholding, and cuddling. If you can’t remember the last time you had an intimate moment i.e. snuggled up to your partner or had a date night, then you may be oscillating gradually into a failing marriage. An intimate bond adds a higher dimension of closeness and affection to a marriage relationship, and the lack of it could be quite detrimental to it in the long-term Ecclesiastes 4:11.
 
When every little effort feels like too much effort: If making the tiniest of effort for your family has become a huge burden, then it may be a sign of trouble. In a healthy marriage, we should be motivated to care for one another. Caring for a spouse who is ill or planning a sumptuous breakfast spread are typical activities that are born out of concern for each other’s happiness and well-being. No sacrifice is too much for your family’s stability Proverbs 24:3-4.

Ayo Daniels is a healthy family passionate, who loves your feedback, questions, and attends to your counselling need. Send your email: ayodaniels@mrlworld.com