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Why men should not bully their wives

By Gabriel Osu
05 June 2016   |   1:58 am
It is time our society begins to take more seriously the need for couples to live in harmony. This is because it is only when we build good families that we can build a good society.
Archbishop Emeritus of the Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos, His Eminence Anthony Cardinal Okogie (left) with the Director, Social Communications, Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos, Very Rev. Msgr Gabriel Osu.

Archbishop Emeritus of the Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos, His Eminence Anthony Cardinal Okogie (left) with the Director, Social Communications, Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos, Very Rev. Msgr Gabriel Osu.

There is this story of a man who derives immense pleasure from battering his wife. Each day he comes back from work, oozing of alcohol; he would pounce on his hapless wife at every flimsy excuse and beat the day light out of her. And while this would be happening, their young innocent children would be watching with tears streaming down their eyes. For this couple, a day hardly passes without exchange of harsh words and blows. For the neighbours, they have learnt to live with the frequent squabbles that emanate from the home of the young couple. But should this be the case?

In recent times there has been an unprecedented surge in the rate of reported cases of wife battering in our society. Indeed, some high-brow cases involving celebrities have further thrown light into the abysmal level of such disputes among couples. We are all very familiar with the Sonde case. The man had quarreled with the wife on allegation of infidelity, and before one could fathom what was happening, the wife reportedly died in the ensuring squabbles.

The man is now being tried for allegedly murdering his wife. Many more similar cases abound around us. And so we ask ourselves: what would make a man raise his hands against his better half? What form of pleasure can a sane man derive from battering his wife and making her sad always? Where was the love they once shared?

Some have argued that it is African for a man to beat his wife. That is not true. I am yet to know of anywhere in Africa where custom permits a man to beat his wife. Indeed, it is a sign of other pathological problems. It is cowardly for any sane man to batter his wife. No matter the prevailing circumstances, there can be no justification for such act. I always advice men that if at any time you feel highly offended by your wife’s seeming nagging, just excuse yourself and take a walk.

By the time you come back, the tension would be lifted. Some have also argued that the economic situation is having much strain on men, hence so many of them are turning to their wives as punching bags. This is also not acceptable. Your wife is your partner and not your sparring partner in the boxing ring. Always see her as a help-mate and not a distraction or liability.

It is time our society begins to take more seriously the need for couples to live in harmony. This is because it is only when we build good families that we can build a good society.

Very Rev. Msgr. Osu, Director, Social Communications, Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos.

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