Evidence of wrong relationship – Part 6

What is evidence?
Evidence simply means proofs. According to oxford advance learner’s dictionary; evidence means the facts, signs, or objects that make you believe that something is true. It also says “the information that is used in the court of law.”

Evidence of wrong relationships therefore means the facts, signs, or things that proves that a relationship is wrong. Knowing what a wrong relationship is will also by implication reveals what makes a relationship right. What then are the evidence of a wrong relationship?

• Relationship Without Proper Foundation
There are foundations that makes a relationship right. The absence of such foundation automatically makes the relationship wrong. Psalms 11:3 says that if the foundation be destroyed, the righteous can do nothing. Foundation matters a lot. That determines the strength and the durability of any building. According to Charles Swindoll, “Marriage is like a building,” if it must be strong then there is need for a solid foundation.

According to a one time Justice of the Supreme Court in Nigeria, Justice Okputa, he said we cannot put something on nothing or else it will not stand. Improper foundation is still one of the greatest reasons for problematic marriage in our generation.

Our foundation must be based on the word of God. Basing your decisions on anything aside from the word of God is like putting something on nothing. When you put something on nothing you can be very sure that it will not stand. The foundation is very crucial, the preparation you make, the prayers you prayed, before making your decision, the counselling preceding your choice making and the place you met or came in contact with your life partner are also very crucial. For instance, when a lady claimed to meet her love in the commuter bus, the man proposed to her in the bus and she gave her answer immediately in the bus. It is not a good foundation at all to fall in love with someone you are meeting for the very first time, beware of love at first sight, it is infatuation not genuine love. I rightly said in my book “Ten men & ladies you must never marry” that we must not marry Mr. or Miss Stranger.

• Relationships Entered Into By Incomplete Singles:
Relationships is not to make us complete. Real singles must understand that they are complete even if they are yet to have a partner. According to Colossians 2:10 the Bible says we are complete in Christ. Whether you are married or not you are complete if you are in Christ.

“And ye are complete in Him, which is the head of all principalities and power” so many single lady or man try to rush into marriage because they are eager to have someone who will make them complete, someone who will validate them, or someone who will make them fulfilled or deliver them from loneliness.

We need to understand that singleness is not the same thing as loneliness. You can be a single and still be fulfilled. Our Lord Jesus Christ was not married, so also Apostle Paul and they lived a fulfilled life. Singleness is not demonic, it is not a disadvantage, neither is it a disease, it is a gift from God; Therefore, we must not put our joy on hold, we must seek a life of fulfillment and accomplishment as singles without necessarily waiting till we get married. To be single means to be unique, separate and whole. Until you see yourself as a whole person, you are not complete. Such singles that waits for marriage to make them fulfilled often see themselves as mere halves, they are always looking for their better-halves. God intends to join a whole man together with a whole woman in order to make them one. But when two halves come together they will still be halves.

I remember I said in one of our seminars that it is one of the myths that make many singles miserable. The thought that your spouse will make you whole is nothing but a myth capable of making your life a miserable one. Couples who swallow the myth that their spouse will make them whole become dependent on their partner in a way that is by all standards unhealthy. According Dr Leslie Parrot such couples cultivate what experts call an “enmeshed relationship,” characterised by a general reliance on continual support, assurance and wholeness. It is usually coupled with low self-esteem and a sense of inferiority that is easily controlled by their partner.

Marriage Is a God given opportunity for us to improve our lives. Marriage challenges us to new heights and calls us to be the best person possible, but neither marriage nor our partner will originally make us whole.

Dependent partners desire happiness, not personal growth. They are not interested in nourishing the relationship but in been nurtured by their partner. They believe the lie that says they will effortlessly be made whole simply by been married.
Excerpt From My Book “EVIDENCE OF WRONG RELATIONSHIP”
Contact: Everwinning Faith Ministries Int’l
31, Oritse Street, Off Awolowo Way, Balogun B/Stop, Ikeja, Lagos.
Or Everwinning Faith Ministries Int’l
Everwinning Faith Avenue, White Sand, Isheri-Osun,
(After Ijegun) Lagos
08023997277, 08059203554.