Announcing your love to your wife

A man thrilled us with a story sometimes ago. It was during testimony time in the church, where we worship. He said as he was leaving the house one day during the week, his wife came and said to him, “Tell me that you love me.” And the man asked her: “what is bringing this one now?” Again the woman said: “tell me you love me. I need to hear it.” The husband again replied: “if I do not love you, would I be married to you these past 18 years?” As the man was about to make his way out of the house, the woman held him insisting he must say: “I love you.”

Man: Leave me alone.
Woman: I will not leave you.
Man: Na by force? Leave me.
Woman: No, you must tell me that you love me today.

After a while he gave up and finally said: “I love you.” His wife was in one corner of the church, as her husband publicly told this story. He said he has been forcing himself to say: “I love you” to his wife, since the incidence took place a few days earlier. His reasoning was that, if the expression “I love you” means so much to his wife, why should he withhold it? To him, he had withheld it for the past 18 years due to ignorance and influence of African, tribal and family culture. As a marriage counselor, I salute that man for filling his wife’s love tank.

Love has to be announced. Love that is not announced is either dead or paralysed. God is love. A marriage will not make proper progress without an atmosphere of love created with words and actions. Not only actions, but also words. Not only words, but actions. A wise man announces his love to his wife in three basic ways:
• Through constant giving of little gifts and once in a while big gifts.
• Exploiting the power of touch through constant holding of hands, tapping her bum bum, kisses, etc.
• Constantly reminding her of his love, just as Jesus Christ tells us (His church, His BRIDE) of His love for us and as God the Father also announced to God the Son, “Thou art my beloved son; in thee I am well pleased,” Luke 3:22.

I never saw my father and mother hugging any day. I never heard my father telling my mother, I love you any day. When my mother died at age 60 in 1993, I was surprised to discover that my father loved my mother. But while my mother was alive, she never knew he loved her. After her death, I tried to comfort my father by telling him that there are some women out there who are better than my mother and that he might have to remarry. But despite my efforts, my father died about three and half months after my mother passed on. He was aged 68. My mother died without knowing my father loved her so much, and I believe my father regretted not letting my mother know how much he loved her. A wise, bold and real man should constantly announce his love to his wife, as Jesus Christ constantly announces His love to his BRIDE- the church. Begin to learn to say: “I love you.”
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Email: lovearena@holyspiritmission.org