How to handle infidelity in the home – Part 2

Like we saw last time the issue of infidelity is a complex issue and the reasons people indulge in it vary from cultural to the issue of lack of self-discipline. Today, we will be looking at the fact that infidelity has far-reaching implications.

First of all, God commands us to avoid adultery, which is having sex with someone who is not one’s spouse. Today, this injunction is viewed as old school and irrelevant to modern society that prides itself in the pleasures of casual sex. It is so bad these days that incest and sleeping with spouses of siblings is on the increase. But see what this world view has caused mankind. Most of the deadly and incurable diseases that have plagued man in our recent history are transmitted through sex. HIV/AIDS is the outworking of our disobedience to the word of God pure and simple.

However, on a more practical level what does infidelity do to a marriage and by extension a home?
• Trust, which is the bedrock of any stable marriage is broken. When trust is broken, the home cannot hold together anymore.
• There is resentment and bitterness created in the mind of the betrayed partner. If this is not properly handled it can escalate into physical violence.
• Usually if the matter is not reconciled there will be separation and divorce.
• When partners divorce the children are the immediate victims of this action. The children are traumatised by decisions that are taken out of no fault of theirs. It is estimated that the greatest problem of the American Society today is the problem of single parenthood. Most Americans are in their third or fourth marriages. In fact, over 70 percent of Juvenile delinquency is traced to the absence of a father in the home.

Now when you discover that your partner has been cheating on you; what do you do?
• Know that you are not in control of what your partner may do or not do. People, who boast they know their partners and say they cannot stray are the ones mostly devastated when they find out their partners have been cheating on them.
• Confront the matter in a matured way. This is not the time to put up a fight because you may end up driving your partner into the waiting hands of another person. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your partner to find out what went wrong
• If you discover that you may have contributed to the problem take steps to address it.
• Be willing to forgive. Remember, we are all not infallible and everyone deserves a second chance including you.
• Pray for your spouse every day, asking God to protect him or her from temptations.
• Go for counseling.
• Do not keep quiet or bottle up.
God bless you.
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