Traits That Open Doors

love-CopyIF life has proven anything time and time again, it is that we are all connected and interdependent in someway or the other; What happens to one ultimately affects others and what you do to one, another will do to you. When one business greatly reduces the price of a product it affects the demand of other brands. Even the earth isn’t brand new nor does it renew itself; it is growing old like every physical entity, however, the more harm that is done to it, the greater the acceleration of its impending destruction. It is very safe to say then that there is no act that does not produce a corresponding response. Our lives are linked and therefore our actions are like boomerangs – they return back to us with the same nature and intensity. Here are a few qualities and habits that bring us favour and good will with others.

“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect”. (Matthew 5:44-48 ESV)
It can be so easy to think only of oneself because human nature is wired that way.

Therefore it will be just as easy to treat those whom we think can do us no particular good with careless abandon, and those to whom we think can be of some good to us with partial goodness. “The best index to a person’s character is how a person treats people who can’t do them any good or can’t fight back.” – Reputedly said by Abigail Van Buren. I agree totally; the way we treat others who mean absolutely nothing to us truly reveals what sort of person a person is. Therefore if you treat…say a bus conductor harshly, the Lady behind the counter at the bank or some anonymous seller/representative at the other end of the line badly because your judge you have the right or the privilege to, be sure that like a boomerang, that same deed would return to you. Likewise, if you treat even those who have treated you harshly with mercy, mercy will find you too,

“It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship.” – Colette (1873 – 1954), The Pure and the Impure, 1932
“There is hardly any personal defect which an agreeable manner might not gradually reconcile one to” – Jane Austen (1775 – 1817), Persuasion, 1818
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 ESV)
You can have all the beauty, brains or talent in the world, however if your manners are not agreeable, you will only be tolerated as far as it can be possibly managed. No one longs to be around people who are depressing or condescending. The one whose company is enjoyed is enjoyed and enriching, is the one who is pleasant to be with and speak to, who makes even the basic conversation a delight and relieves the stress and fear that come with conflict and challenges. Sadly this is somewhat hard to come by as a lot of people perceive forcefulness to mean strength. Being nice has nothing to do with weakness – far from it.

It is a strong personality who can diffuse an emotional explosion with thoughtful, kind and honest words. A strong personality weighs and chooses his or her battles and can still be firm without losing his or her cool or dignity. No, you don’t have to be overly sensitive about the way people treat you; the way your day goes doesn’t have to be dependent on what sort of clients you have or what encounters you have at any given day. In fact, to a great degree you can determine the way people treat you by treating them as you would like to be treated. One of the easiest way to get a person into a shouting match is to start shouting yourself.

Likewise, to get a person to stop shouting and see reason, you must also remain calm and speak reasonably. With difficult people we must learn to be polite yet firm when you need to and also to know when you shouldn’t accept any more abuse. You must realise that you cannot influence everybody and someone else can only make you feel inferior when you allow them to.

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