Attracting The Best Kind Of Love

By kemi Amushan   |   23 January 2015   |   11:00 pm  

I’M going to tell you a bit about my previous relationships. We all know that every relationship starts out great. Thing is, there was chemistry for a while, but then they declined in a fizzle that got increasingly rapid with each relationship.

  What started out as “love” ended in mutual annoyance at best. They lasted anywhere from three months to nine months and by the end of each I was done, I mean so done, with that guy. Again.

  Now the relationship I have now is totally different. Our love is ongoing. We have excitement. We are happy snuggling. We are happy doing more than snuggling. We share our life’s goals and values. We give each other space for our own time, too. Most importantly we respect each other.

  Why am I talking about my love life? Because you must understand that this kind of love is completely new for me. And I wholeheartedly believe that if you can approach dating and your relationships this new way that you can have the love you so desire, too.

  So what did I do right this time? The difference this time is that prior to meeting him, instead of seeking to fall in love again I made the commitment to love first. Therein lies the myth about love that really needs to go away – that real love is something that just happens when we fall into it. Now we may fall when we trip over an unexpected crack in the pavement and one could make the case that you might fall in “love.”

    But what we definitely don’t do is fall into partnership with another person. At least not deliberately. Falling in faux love makes for compelling drama in movies etc but since our lives don’t end in two hours the expectation and high of falling in love like that in real life is completely counter to deliberately attracting the soul mate partnership that will nurture our soul’s journey long term and, perhaps, our whole lifetime.

  The best way to deliberately create real love whether single, dating, or in partnership is to just commit to loving, period. With yourself, with others, with your daily activities, and most certainly with that special person that shares your dearest values (like committing to loving in this way, too) that you choose to have by your side.

  Rinse and repeat. Like maintaining a healthy lifestyle by continually eating nutritiously and exercising, you maintain your commitment to love in the same way. I’m not promising there won’t be little bumps along the way but your commitment to love will always bring you back to the source of your coming together. And in many cases re-committing to love after bumps will bring you even closer and more in love than ever.

  Therefore, my suggestion for all those seeking love, deep soul mate love, is this: 

*Say Bye-bye: Falling in “love.”

*Hello there: Committing to love.

  And with that simple shift I believe you will have a truly grounded and deliciously loving foundation to your dating experience and the next relationship you choose to be in.



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