Eradicating Annoying Personality Traits (2)

TOTAL communication is made up of verbal and non-verbal communication. This includes body language, written communication, spoken communication, tone of voice, etc. 

  Gestures and postures that generally put us in a bad light and or impede the flow and mutual understanding in interpersonal communication are the traits you want to eradicate from your personality. 

  Bad habits like scratching of the body, dragging the feet while walking, slouching, indecent exposure of body parts, speaking in a high pitch, etc are the sort habits you want to remove from your personality.

Three-Step Process

The first step is to identify the trait/s you want to get rid of. It does help to make a list of unwanted postures and gestures as it brings things into their proper perspective. Since the first step is knowing what not to do, then the next step is knowing what to do. For example, generally, pointing a finger at another is considered accusatory and disrespectful; it is, however acceptable to point four or five fingers at a person since it appears mild and unthreatening. The third thing to do is to put this knowledge into practice. Do it as often as your remember and go back to it as often as you slip. In so doing you reinforce the good habits and indefinitely replace the good with the bad.

    This should not just be applied to external habits but your internal habits as well since it is from there that most bad habits originate. Shyness, timidity, insecurities, etc, are all negative emotions and they eventually find their way into our expressions. (more of that next week). Therefore, if you find you tolerate thoughts like timidity, when you start to feel shyness creep up on you, counter those thought with a scripture like Zechariah 2:5

When you keep practicing this, you would find that when those uncomfortable emotions, like shyness or timidity come to play, instead of reacting in a negative way, you will instinctively display a positive posture – internally and externally.

A Few Timeless Virtues Go A Long Way

Make Eye Contact

Making eye contact with another human being is a way of validating their existence. You acknowledge a person’s presence by meeting their gaze. In discursions it is an unmistakable statement or gesture of acknowledgement and attention – this factor is of utmost important. However, there is such a thing as a discomforting stare; this can happen when a person is uncomfortable with your presence, or feels like your gaze is bordering on intrusion or even just a culture clash! Whatever the case may be, it is worthwhile for you to pay attention to whoever you are with. Most times, a person’s body language or attitude can give you a clue as to how comfortable the person is. Assess a person and revise your approach if need be. If you perceive a person to be intimidated by your direct gaze, shift your gaze to the bridge between both eyes. Also, avoid looking someone for less than 4 seconds; it might suggest that you have shifty eyes or are uncomfortable with their presence.

Smile Strategically

A genuine smile is worth so much more than it is generally recognized (The operative word being ‘genuine’). It is a smile that comes from a sincere heart, reaches the eyes and lights up the face. Most often, when such an ethereal smile is seen it is received totally and treasured! Why? Because it is rare! How many beautiful smiles do you honestly remember? Some of the best smiles I have ever received have come from children – a smile is so pleasing to receive from an honest heart! This isn’t far out of reach from adults; you just have to choose to like everyone regardless of whether they are likable or not and reach forth in honesty. Genuine warmth (or love) is capable of melting the hardest of hearts.

“What’s In A Name That Which We Call A Rose…” – William Shakespeare

Who is the person who has no identity? Everyone holds onto some sense of identity no matter what. One aspect of who we are – or of our identity is our name. Whether a person feels inferior or confident, he or she will appreciate the acknowledgement of his or her name consciously or subconsciously. Ask for a person’s name, repeat it to get it right and say it a number of times in conversation. I wouldn’t say more than this except to urge you to try it out!

Be Graciousness In Word And In Deed 

It is as rare as an honest smile to find a gracious personality. With all the sham and harshness in this broken world, it’s little surprise that we are inclined to keep to ourselves most of the time. However, in truth, it pays more to be kind that to be a recipient of kindness; Offer your time, give of your wealth – both material and immaterial, be sincere, be gentle, be thoughtful – be gracious! We ought to be inspired by the fact that we are most like our LORD when we are loving or gracious: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son…” – John 3:16(KJV). What’s the secret of being sincerely gracious and staying so regardless of what life throws at you? Expect nothing in return save a longing to delight our LORD and Master, Jesus

Image and Etiquette: As a young lady, I suffered much from inferiority and timidity. I had an unhealthy distrust of myself and God-given beauty. By God’s grace, I found answers in the Bible (especially the Songs of Solomon) which transformed me. His Word transformed me from a bitter, angry teenager to a cheerful, content, peace-filled and purposeful woman; Jesus changed me from the inside out. I have a passion for etiquette and image and I know that our outward image and our attitudes are influenced by our heart; therefore, image and etiquette is spirit, soul and body – just as it was in the beginning! Having been given the knowledge, experimental application and experience through His grace alone, this is what I teach. Unconventional…yes, but it remains the truth to the degree that I have understood it. For this, I make no apologies. Website: Email: Phone Number: 08116706879 (text messages only).

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