‘Do Your Best And Leave The Rest To God’
THIS is to you girlfriend: Please help yourself by doing everything you can to keep that look of disappointment off your face. I know your age mates are all married. I know your colleagues get married every Saturday. I know we need men as much as they need us. I know your mother wakes you up every morning with, “ my daughter, is there no one yet?” I know you are bothered about menopause and childbearing.
But I want you to be happy at all times. Some unmarried ladies are not attractive,not because they are not beautiful; they are not attractive because when people look at them all they see is pain and disappointment. What has happened to that positive vibe you were known for? What has happened to the face that brought hope to others? Why have you allowed yourself to age prematurely just because there is no man yet? Your look and the glory that has left your face could be all you need to get a man hooked.
A good number of single women live in perpetual bitterness and depression. Many of them sleep and wake up in hatred for a fellow lady simply because they cant understand why it should be her and why God should be loving and blessing her. I really do understand your frustration. But there’s no reason good enough to justify this wrong. If you love good, you will have good in your life. We all have our times and seasons in life, never pray for yours to come before God’s time because that would mean pain.
Do you stop wanting to be married? Do you stop waiting for your husband? Well, of course not. Desiring to be married is never the problem. How you allow the lack of a husband to hold you back from the other blessings that God has for you is the problem. Too busy sulking and longing and not enough time considering that God was elevating your life in so many other ways. Why invest so much of your time and emotion into something that is not yet? I know how badly you want to be happy with your life, but you are missing the forest for the trees.
Stop deceiving yourself by believing you must sleep with every Tom, Dick, and Harry to get them to marry you. Stop throwing yourself at men just at the sound of “I will marry you”; a good number of them only want to go in between your legs. They won’t marry you; they can only use and dump you. Because men have seen high level of desperation among the sisters, they now feel they can enjoy themselves as they like just by using the word, ‘I want to marry you’.
Some of them are genuine and they mean whatever they say to you, but he also understands that it’s not just about good sex and beautiful figure; he knows that marriage is serious business and must be entered with eyes wide open. He wants to see a woman with great vision who will give him the necessary push he needs to become great. He needs a woman who can discuss business and issues with him, not just sex, movies, holidays, and shopping. He wants a woman who fears God because she will be his backbone and pillar. Even in their madness, men still love having a very godly woman for marriage. He wants a woman who will be a mother and raise godly seeds. He wants a woman who will be busy building lives and working with her hands, not busy destroying with her mouth. He wants a woman, not a girl.
Stop running away with all kinds of excuses when your friends invite you to their wedding. When you are invited, please dress well and enter the hall with so much laughter and smile. Don’t go about castigating your married friends and causing problems in their homes by devouring with your mouth because there is karma and it’s real. Some women confide so much in their single friends without knowing that they are behind whatever problems they are into. Don’t get it twisted; I am, in no way, saying that you shouldn’t keep single friends as a married woman; I have very reliable single women who are better than many married in terms of sound advice and confidentiality. But you must be wise.
Stop the excess makeup and dress to look younger. Makeup is meant to enhance your natural beauty and not turn you to a masquerade. When I say “dress to look younger”, I am not talking about nudity. Know what hairstyle and colour makes you look younger. Know the dress style that accentuates your best features. Don’t go for anything because it’s in vogue or because it looks good on your friend. Dress for men to know that you are single and available. Stop dressing to make yourself a thick “madam” before your time; dress for a younger and more vibrant you.
If you can get that smile back and wear it again, you will see years taken off. Work on your character, carry yourself well remembering that the pride of womanhood must be protected. No matter what you do, never allow anyone make you less of a human because you are not married, but be sure it’s not because of you. Your character, fashion sense, job, location, and friends could be the problem you have; make changes where necessary. Stop hating your married friends. start dressing, walking, sitting, standing, and talking like a mother and wife material whose husband will count himself blessed for having.
Deal with those things that scare men away. Be happy again, deal with jealousy, bitterness, and hatred. Worship God in sincerity and not just jumping into the choir or becoming an usher or prayer warrior because you want to be noticed. I see some single women act very uncoordinated in their church group; they insult even heads of departments and treat young men like they are nothing. You do all these because it’s just a church group without realizing that someone from that group may end up becoming your in-law tomorrow. As an usher in church or a community group, how do you talk to people? So many single sisters in church who are in the ushering department need to be taught to put on a smile and talk to people, especially fellow women, well even if they are older.
Is Amara trying to say it’s all as a result of our works? Certainly no; she’s only telling you to do your best and leave the rest to God. I acknowledge the fact that so many bad girls are married today and the good girls are waiting. I agree; she was a bad girl, but what if her smile and jovial nature helped? You are a good girl, no doubt, but what about your attitude towards people?