The Ex Files: Can You Really Be Friends With Your Ex?
As fun and exciting as relationships are, especially during the honeymoon stage, the sad reality of when things turn sour (and there's no going back) can be both painful and helpful. That being said, breakups (which I'm sure we've all experienced) are handled in many different ways. In the beginning, an array of emotions is felt; from anger to sadness, idleness to resentment – all in no particular order. Eventually, after the emotional rollercoaster and the “coulda, woulda, and shoulda” things start to settle, you begin the journey towards moving on whilst stopping at different stations such as reflection and hindsight.
Although a lot of lessons are learnt during this journey, and some might even lead to regret, the road, however, is neither sturdy or overly bumpy. The ultimate destination is not reached without thoughts and memories begging the questions, “Should we get back together?” or “Can we really be friends?” Irrespective of what happened in the relationship (particularly a long-term one), we've all thought these questions with some people probably acting on it.
Being friends with your ex is not an easy thing, let alone getting back together. We all remember #HurtBae. Don't be #HurtBae. But, with every pro comes a con, a picture might bring back wonderful memories leading you to think the possibility of reconciliation or friendship is probable, until reality shines its dull yet piercing light onto a false optimism.
Essentially, every breakup is not the same. Some end on amicable terms, whereas others go through a bitter conclusion. Despite how one's relationship concludes, the toughest and simplest question that can be asked of both individual is, “Can we still be friends?”
In the early days, no one in their right mind thinks they'll be friends with their former boo (frankly, it's ridiculous to even propose the question). But as time passes and wounds heal and you move on, the question doesn't seem so ridiculous as it once did. Though, some exes are best left erased from your memory (no shade frown…okay maybe slight shade).
Ultimately, the question doesn't really have a yes or no (or a HELL NO!) answer. Relationships are as delicate as a nuclear bomb. Personally, I struggle with the idea of being friends with your ex or exes. It is simply a myth. When you really think about it, what good is it doing anyone? But, hey that's just my opinion. At the end of the day you can always be “friends with…” (yeah, I'll let you finish the sentence).