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4 Boundaries To Set In Friendship

By Modupeoluwa Adekanye
22 August 2019   |   8:00 pm
Just like every relationships, every friendship requires boundaries. Boundaries in friendship helps such relationship to be smooth, once friendship is one-sided, it becomes a burden. Below are some boundaries that should exist in friendship: Reciprocity A boundary that goes unchecked in many relationships is the non-reciprocal-benefits issue, someone who only contacts you when they need…

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Just like every relationships, every friendship requires boundaries. Boundaries in friendship helps such relationship to be smooth, once friendship is one-sided, it becomes a burden.

Below are some boundaries that should exist in friendship:

Reciprocity

A boundary that goes unchecked in many relationships is the non-reciprocal-benefits issue, someone who only contacts you when they need something should be given a boundary. Once this is not done, the relationship becomes parasitic. While friendships do not need to be a 50/50 give-and-take every day, they should balance out over time. If you’re the one always giving, or feel emotionally drained after spending time with a friend, it’s worth looking at the friendship and determining how much value it is adding to your life.

What you tell them

It is okay to allow your friends keep some information to themselves, and it is okay to have just a friend who knows everything about you. Some people have this idea that they need to tell their friends absolutely everything going on in their life, If you would like to do that, that is fine, but you are not obliged. You can be as open or private about matters as you would like. A relationship expert suggests that if a friend tries to pry, it’s best to be honest with them and say something like, “Thank you for asking, but I would rather not talk about that at the moment.”

Values

Not all of your friends can share the same values as you, it is okay to be different. However, it is important that your friends respect your values and you respect theirs. You may not share the same religion, ideas, or political views as your friend, and that’s OK. A healthy friendship allows two people to respectfully believe in very different things.

Influence

There are different types of people, there are people who are sunlight in the storm and there are some who are storm during the calm. Once you discover your friend brings you more of sadness and negativity than positivity, then it is time to let them go. You let them know why you wish to reduce your level of closeness and you move on. It is essential to be aware of how your energy affects other people, as well as to be intentional about the mood you bring (or take away) when you’re with people you care about.

Boundaries are important, so you can set some with your friends.

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