Things To Consider In Love Without Marriage
09 December 2015 |
2:31 pm
Do you want to have a successful relationship and live like a married couple without the contract? In recent times, the game has changed when it comes to modern romance. Potential life partners are chosen in swipes, commitment rings are gaining popularity over their engagement counterparts, and couples are getting committed around the same time they start to sprout their first grey…
Do you want to have a successful relationship and live like a married couple without the contract? In recent times, the game has changed when it comes to modern romance. Potential life partners are chosen in swipes, commitment rings are gaining popularity over their engagement counterparts, and couples are getting committed around the same time they start to sprout their first grey hairs. Most women are no longer searching for financial support in men, which explains why people are choosing to get married later in life. Are you keen to consider taking your relationship to the next level, without the pomp and pageantry of a wedding, and the constrictions of a ‘contract’?
Here are some things to consider:
1. Don’t fall in love. Jump in
Some people just fall into de-facto relationships because they’ve lived with their partner for a certain period of time, “At some point, there need to be a discussion to confirm if both parties want to be committed to the relationship long term.” Be consistently mindful of your own non-marital path so that there is continued direction, rather than just old habits reforming over time.
2. Get (a little) legal
It’s an unpleasant conversation to have but a practical one if you don’t have a legal contract, you may not have a marriage certificate but if something were to happen to one of you, would the other be entitled to your assets? If you two were to break up for whatever reason, will the assets be split? Who would take custody of the children?” are questions that have to be considered.
3. Make the boundaries clear
Just because you are not legally married, does not pave the way for philandering, If we are to look at the way people date now, I’d say we are on higher divorce rates, a new dating app popping up every month and dating sites that specifically encourage infidelity, people can be fickle. They can love one person at a time (most of the time) but that love is conditional. It’s more ‘I love you…until something goes wrong’. For many, it’s just easier to break up than to make up, Therefore, ensuring you and your partner have finite boundaries around your decision not to marry is imperative. The game may have changed, but the basic rules never falter.
4. Talk tiny details
If you plan on having children at some point, it’s best to discuss the logistics earlier rather than later. Details that may seem little now – like who’s name the child will take, if they would be baptized, what type of education or childhood you hope for them, and how you will help them understand why you both decided not to be married – may loom larger as the kids grow up.
5. Come together in commitment
A scribbled signature in front of a wedding photographer does not make for a strong marriage! If you are committed to each other, you don’t need anyone to witness this, except the both of you. There is no binding contract but it’s important for both to treat de-facto relationships as if it were a marriage.
6. Look ahead with identical vision
You may agree that you both don’t want to get married but will this change if kids come into the picture or if someone changes their mind down the road? It’s so important you revisit your decision not to marry at regular intervals to ensure you are still on the same page. If you enter the agreement, have realistic expectations that your partner may never change his/her mind about it later, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie started dating since 2015 and recently tied the knot.
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