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Secrets Of A Lasting Marriage

06 April 2016   |   12:57 pm

Once upon a time, you met this lovely bobby, mingled and tangled, got engaged, and successfully got wedded! Sounds lovely, yeah? Anyways, many married couples who fell in love and said I do thought that was the beginning of joy unspeakable!

However, many happily married couples around the globe have admitted that living happily ever after takes a whole lot more work. Infact many admit that marriage is like a school where you have to learn about your other half as though you were in to acquire a fresh degree. Oh yes! That’s so true. Most newly weds haven’t come to that knowledge yet, that’s why divorce is kept as an option just in case it doesn’t work. How sad!

Based on my recent review on marriages and why there seems to be several failed marriages, this article aims at uncovering some seemingly untapped ideas that may help marriages thrive and come alive again at trying times. Kindly follow me closely as we review some of these tips.

I once attended a relationship seminar some months back where the speaker addressed married couples on the characteristics of a winning marriage. Here are some points raised on this seminar: It was noted on this seminar that successful couples are savvy, attend seminars, read books, read web articles to get helpful ideals and observe other successful marriages to learn something new that might help their own marriages.

However you want to look at successful marriages, nobody knows it all, and there are no made in heaven ones. Infact most successful couples will tell you they learned it on the job, i.e. (by experience, trial and error).

Here are some principles I have observed from successful and happy marriages that you might want tap into:

·         Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away. It is called investing into marriage. Because marriage is a life time thing, there is no investment you put into making your marriage last that is considered a waste. You too have signed a contract of for better or worse; best is to invest to make it a forever better than worse experience! That’s why it is very necessary you be certain of your intended spouse that you love him or her and he or she is the person you would love to wake up beside every morning; when this is ascertained, then i see no reason why you should not invest on your better half to make it work.

·         Bad attitudes often push bad responses and actions. Don’t let your attitude take the better part of your marriage. Emphasis is on maintaining a character that allows peace reign between you and your partner whether it’s the right thing to do or not. Most times, if you weigh the effect anger could have on your marriage, a better option will be to just let things die the way they are, with time and prayer, things will come back to normal.

·         I have heard people say that matters concerning you and your partner should remain between you two. While this statement may be true to a certain extent, in some cases where peace and unity is obstructed as a result of bottled up differences, it is highly advisable to seek help. However, situations like these are sensitive and should be handled as such. Don’t talk to friends, colleagues or anyone as the case may be, who have questionable character. Look out for people you know can give you the best counsels. Someone with high esteem and a right sense of judgment is a good place to start.

·         Learn to see your partner from a positive angle whether or not it seems so. How you perceive your partner affects how much closeness that goes into your marriage. Decide in your heart that despite whatever you already know about your spouse that seem tacky that you are in this marriage to make it work and nothing less. When you approach things from a positive angle, parties involved will learn to reciprocate unconditionally as well to make their marriage work despite what. Plus their approach to life and the way the treat you becomes a reflection of the unconditional love shown to them in the time past.

·        Successful marriage is often about fighting and reconciling. The secret of happy couples is that they have learnt to kiss and make up. This entails, no matter the issue, no holding grudges or digging up things in the past. They put in mind that they married an imperfect person and so should not expect otherwise.

·         A wise man once said it is only a fool that does the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. If you observe an approach in your marital life is not working, quickly switch to something with a better impart. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results.

·         A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over. Crises are inevitable in homes occupied by imperfect beings; if you agree that no single human is perfect, then you shouldn’t see crisis as an end to a means but a means to an end. Most happy couples have admitted that crisis has actually helped to strengthen their love for their partners in an unexplainable way. So begin to welcome crisis as an avenue to strengthen your marriage and not a catalyst for separation.

·         Happy couples have one important thing to teach young marriages, and that is “support”. The importance attached to this word cannot be over emphasized. Support your spouse in and out of seasons. Don’t be a fair weather spouse. Love unconditionally whether or not things are rosy. Support them morally, spiritually, financially, emotionally and otherwise. Respect, value and show up for them when they need it most. When things get tough and your partner doesn’t know what to do, hang in there for them and be that shoulder to lean on. Under the right support and necessary time, your spouse will bounce back to the awesome person they used to be.

·         Successful couples have learnt that the grass is greenest where you water it. If you don’t water your marriage with the right ingredients, life issues will water it for you. Don’t ever believe that someone else will make you happy. Put your energy into making your marriage work and you will be glad you did.

·         Last but not the least; love is an “action word” not just a feeling. Everyday life issues tend to wear away the “feel good side of marriage” leaving it dry and sometimes hopeless. Look for vibes to spice up your daily love life with. Let it be less of a feeling ‘cos feelings are fleeting. But let it be real love with commitment which often promises to stand the taste of time.

Finally, please note that the only person that has the capacity to change things in your marriage is you. And that will mostly work out when you begin with yourself first. Successful couples have learned that the best way to get their spouses to become who they desire them to be is by first being that person so like a mirror their spouses will see through them and begin to emulate their character.

I hope these few tips for a happy marriage has been helpful, i wish you and your partner a lasting happy married life!!!

 

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