Love and Relationships  

Cheers To Our “Happily Ever After”

By Winner Onyinye

01 August 2021   |   1:30 pm

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The word “relationship” means a lot of things, but we all know the first idea that pops into our head when we hear the word. Yes, you know it- that romantic idea that probably makes you smile. Everyone wants a great relationship, and it is probably good that many are aware that great relationships do…

Romantic Dinner

The word “relationship” means a lot of things, but we all know the first idea that pops into our head when we hear the word. Yes, you know it- that romantic idea that probably makes you smile.

Everyone wants a great relationship, and it is probably good that many are aware that great relationships do not happen overnight.

They involve commitment, compromise, forgiveness and effort. Then the one vital value – love.

Falling in love happens to be the easiest part of a relationship. Different people fall in love for different reasons. For some, it is shared values, financial goals or religion; for others, fondness and deep affection, physical attraction and style; and then, for some, perceived benefits, a kind gesture of a simple handshake, a hair twirl, picking up a book at the same time, and even a wink.

The End by The Beatles

Yet, while some are busy falling in love, others are seeking loopholes in a relationship as to why it doesn’t work for them or is toxic. While this is good, the only challenge is that in relationships, whatever you’re looking for is what you will most likely find, because it is the kind of work you put in that will direct the ship of the relationship. So discard every negative impression you have had in the past and go in with the willingness to work and with trusting love, which are the hallmarks of a lasting relationship.

On the other hand, the aim and destination of a romantic relationship is usually that glorious commitment for life that is preceded by a seemingly beautiful wedding ceremony where the art of life is unleashed. From the wedding balloons that make your heart warm to the pops of colours, all bright and beautiful. The groom in his brilliant tuxedo and the bride stepping in looking like a snack at the sound of the wedding bells, to the exchange of vows, to the exchange of rings and the alleged first kiss, all is extremely desirable. And after all this glitz and glamour comes marriage- a whole new ball game.

If we can get a car running by simply following its rules, then more surely can we get a marriage to work by following its principles.

His and Her vows. Photo Martha Stewart

Here are some of these principles:

Believe in the success of your relationship. What you believe in, you tend to attract. The popular phrase “men are scum” would do you no good. Believing in your relationship is not a vague expression, it means having faith that both of you can work, which is compelled by love and sustained by trust.

Start your relationship with a purpose. Since a relationship is not the end in itself but a means to an end, it is wise not to spend all your resources and risk getting bankrupt. Make lasting investments. Let the man recognise his roles beyond his pocket and the woman, her roles beyond her body as well so that the trend of heartbreak, insecurities and domestic violence will cease in their home and one family at a time.

Communication. As with anything, communication is important in building and maintaining a healthy relationship. Here is the psychology of how we communicate:

55 percent in our body language.
38 percent in the tone of our voice.
7 percent, the actual words we speak.

Like in friendship, communication should be interesting and something to look forward to in a romantic relationship. Since no interpersonal bond ever comes truly free from conflict, open and constructive communication is essential.

The truth is that after all is said and done, we must choose our path.

Dear singles, the desire to be in a relationship and have a happy marriage is a good one. It doesn’t mean you’re not focused in life. Love is a beautiful thing, and for those who desire it, may you find true love and may true love find you.