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 4 “What Ifs” That Bothers Your Self-Esteem

By Awele Onwuadiamu

16 January 2020   |   3:15 pm

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Youths are filled with limitless optimism; the feeling that you can achieve anything, be anybody if you try hard, if you look hard enough you can find something redeeming in even the worst of situation. However, some questions constantly come as a nagging thought; so many what-ifs that can turn your world upside down. What…

 4 “What Ifs” That Bothers Your Self-Esteem | Image: Pexels

Youths are filled with limitless optimism; the feeling that you can achieve anything, be anybody if you try hard, if you look hard enough you can find something redeeming in even the worst of situation.

However, some questions constantly come as a nagging thought; so many what-ifs that can turn your world upside down.

What if at 40 that dream man doesn’t come? What if you decide not to marry but rather travel around the world? What if you marry someone that you are older than? What if you don’t get that dream job? What if you lose that dream job? What if that child doesn’t come as and when due? What if that child dies or you never give birth? What if you decide not to give birth? What if you give birth while in school? What if that person you have hoped on dies or gives up on you? What if you don’t feel loved enough by others? What if you don’t fit into what society calls successful? What if you end up not having that body-size you want? What if you lose your husband or wife?

These are questions that most people avoid, instead of facing these life options, you must pause a little and ask yourself some difficult sincere questions, Only then would you get sincere answers, life does happen.

Life could get depressing especially when people need you to have your life all figured out. Now the question is what if?

What if at 40 that dream partner doesn’t come?

This is a question everyone avoids, just like the Adekunle Gold’s popular “many Saturday done pass and I never marry, Oluwa provide a boo oh,” the silent thought creeps in.

Most humans at early stage of their youth already have dreams of how their dream partner should look like, how they want that fairytale wedding, the dance moves, the colour of “asoebi,” the fact is it might not happen to some as at when they want it and to some, it doesn’t happen at all.

Society has made us believe that the greatest achievement of any human is when they say, “I do’’ As simple as the word may sound, it is not for all and that is fine.

What if with all your beauty and brain, awesome plan, long term relationship and at 40 you are still single, does it mean you are not successful, must it stop you from finding happiness?

In the words of Arthur Rubinstein,

“I have found out that if you love life, life will love you back’’.

Happiness is cheap yet the most expensive accessory to get.

What if you don’t get that dream job?

Don’t we all want a job that will give us the “more than 6 figures” salary? Of course, we do.

However, what if you don’t get it? Or worse still, what if you lose your job? The thought can be so exhausting, just know this; you are in control, no one can force, degrade or control you unless you let them. A good job is not always about the millions you earn, but about what satisfaction and happiness it gives.

What if you don’t get the body size you want?                                              

Looking attractive is everyone’s dream, you want to enter that space and make heads turn. However, do you feel attractive enough? there is so much pressure in having the societal idea of the perfect body size.

Know this, your beauty is never tied to how your body figure is, beauty encapsulates a whole lot of things and body shape is just a tiny part of it.

What if you don’t fit into what society calls successful?

Now before you think you don’t fit in, why not define what success and failure are to you, rather than walking yourself into a corner, think deeper. Your success should not be determined by the metrics of the society, grow at your own pace and watch yourself become a success.

Sit and address the “What ifs.” As silent as they are, they can make or mar you.