The beast of ‘not enoughness’!

In this day and age, it’s easy to put your worth on an imaginary scale to measure it occasionally, based on how everyone else sees you, but yourself. I say “but yourself” because more often than not, we tend to look at ourselves through the lenses of other people (sometimes subconsciously) forgetting that the mere fact that we’re still alive and on this earth means our existence counts for something… right?

Recently, I was privileged to attend a documentary screening at one of the biggest and successful cinemas in Lagos and, sitting through this documentary, in the space of about an hour and 30 minutes, I felt a range of different emotions.

However, the cord that hit me the most was watching women harm their bodies in search of the “perfect figure,” and I ask myself, why would you risk your life to look a certain way because of your belief that looking this way will make you feel that way, thus giving you this elixir of worthiness (that you had to buy and put your life on the line for).

Viola Davis, an American actress once said: “You were born worthy,” and I couldn’t agree more. I think that with social media at our fingertips and everyone’s curated life in our faces every now and again, it could get really easy to forget who you are and start creating an image in your head, of who you’re meant to be. If you’re reading this because of the title, here’s why I think you should give yourself a pat on the back. You saw the title, got curious or questioned yourself and thought to give this a read.

I’d like to remind you that who you are is enough. No one is perfect. We all evolve into better versions of ourselves every day. So, appreciate who you are, at this moment. They say life is short but I think life is a long journey and if we spend all our time trying to alter who we are- physically, emotionally or otherwise to be “seen” or “accepted”, we’ll end up realising that the more effort we put into creating a facade, the emptier we feel.

And this is not the fairytale story of Beauty and the Beast where, at the end of the story, the Beast becomes a prince and they lived happily ever after. Well, this “Beast of Not Enoughness” will eat you up from within if you entertain it, so be content in who you are and always remind yourself about your worthiness and know that you are enough!

To close, I’ll quote Queen Mother Angela Bassett: “When you’re told you’re not good enough, you tell them ‘not only am I good enough, I’m more than enough!” and sometimes, “them” is all in your head so constantly remind yourself of how “good enough” you are because you are enough!

Nkem Onwudiwe is the founder of Her Network – A Global Inspirational and Lifestyle Platform created to inspire and encourage all women to stand in their greatness and set real-life examples by living their truth.