One key question single ladies must ask themselves – Part Two

questions(Note: Today’s article is a continuation of last week’s. I suggest reading Part One first in order to key into my intended message. Thanks! X)

A man who loves you will spend money on you.  A man who wants to build a future with you will let you influence how he spends his money.

A man who loves you will compliment you to make you feel special.  A man who wants to build a future with you will open his vulnerabilities to you in the hope that you will help him grow spiritually.

A man who loves you will be willing to help you make health decisions.  A man who wants to build a future with you will allow you influence his own health decisions.

A man who loves you will help you solve your problems.  A man who wants to build a future with you will ask you to help him solve his problems…even when he doesn’t need your help.

A man who loves you will spend time with you.  A man who wants to build a future with you will ask you how you think he should spend his time.

I’ll never forget when I realized my husband was ‘The One’.  It was actually the same day he told me he was in love with me.  That day, it wasn’t the words “I love you” that made me realize this.  It was the other things he said and the things he didn’t say.  After telling me he loved me and telling me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, I asked my husband-to-be what that meant.  His response was:

“I don’t know what this all means, but I want us to go and figure it out together.”
For me, this spoke volumes because I knew this guy to be a pretty assertive and focused guy.  He had a clear direction for his life, his career and even his spiritual journey, so him making a statement about wanting to go on a new journey together with me made me realize that he was in fact saying that he was willing to make room for me in his own journey, so we could now make it ‘our’ journey!  And that is how I knew he was.

Yes, he had bought me things, including some gifts I turned down (a dozen years later I STILL regret not getting those darn Prada boots he offered to buy me when we first started dating. Lol!). Yes, I loved the way he treated me, spoke to me, spent time with me and made me feel.  But the day he told me he wanted us to go and figure life out together, was the day I realized I meant enough for him to hit the pause button on his plans, bring me into them and have us hit play together.  That was the day I realized he was ‘The One’.

A man who is ‘The One’ realizes that in as much as he might not need you in his life, he wants you in his life.  As a single woman, you might find yourself with a man who is willing to show you he loves you by the things he does for you.  I promise you that in marriage, you’ll find out you want more than that.  So if you’re trying to figure out if your man is ‘The One’, look beyond the things he is willing to do for love.  Look out for those signs that let you know he’s willing to let you play a role in shaping his future.

I’d love to hear from you, ask your questions, share your views, comment, like and share this article with a loved one who might need it. You can also read my post “The One Key Ingredient Discovered In Awesome Marriages” to give you further insight on how healthy communication makes a marriage thrive.
ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach who believes her purpose in life is to equip couples with the right tools for a successful relationship.
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