One key question single ladies must ask themselves Part 1
As a single lady, there are series of questions you tend to ask yourself while trying to figure out if the person you are dating is ‘The One’. I find that without the insight and guidance of a relationship counselor or coach, most single women keep these questions in the superficial realm of:
“Will he always be as generous as he currently is, after we are married?”
“Will he always compliment me and make me feel special?”
“Will he always find me attractive; even after children and when I’m old and grey?”
“Will he always be willing to do things for me?”
“Will he always be willing to spend time with me?”
Don’t get me wrong! These are very important questions! These questions actually have a lot to do with the quality of marriage you could potentially have with ‘The One’. However, these questions tend to be focused more on how he sees you – the woman – and less on how he feels about you disrupting his life forever.
These questions tend to be more focused on the outward actions you need ‘The One’ to show you and less on his inward actions. These questions are more focused on his willingness to demonstrate his love for you over the course of your marriage. While this is great, there is another key question I always insist single ladies ask themselves while they are in the midst of discovering if he is ‘The One’. And that big question is (drumroll please :))…
“Is he willing to “shrink” himself to make room for me in his life?”
So what do I mean by “shrink”? Glad you asked :).
When you look at the general criteria that defines a man who is ready for marriage, the check boxes typically include him having a clear vision for the future and his family, financial stability or at least a pathway in that direction, a spiritual focus (for faith based relationships) and other factors like his readiness to start and be responsible for raising a family (if children are in the cards for the both of you). While it is a good thing for a man to be ‘marriage ready’ by being able to meet all these “requirements”, the issue is such men are typically set in their ways and how they want their future life to be.
As a potential future partner to such a man, an important question to ask yourself is; “Is he willing to have me come into his life and disrupt his well laid out plans of how he wants to live in the future?”
“Is he willing to allow me be a part of how he builds his wealth, not just a spectator?”
“Is he willing to allow me influence him spiritually?”
“Is he willing to allow me influence how he takes care of himself physically and emotionally?”
“Is he willing to consider me his most important confidant on all matters?”
“Is he willing to allow me take even his most important decisions for him?”
These questions roll up to that all-important question I mentioned earlier about his willingness to “shrink” in order to make room for you in his life. If when you think about your man, you find that the answer to these questions is a resounding “Yes”, then he is likely ‘The One’. This not only proves that he loves you. It also proves he wants you to be in his life for the long haul. To Be Continued Next Week!
I’d love to hear from you, ask your questions, share your views, comment, like and share this article with a loved one who might need it. You can also read my post “The One Key Ingredient Discovered In Awesome Marriages” to give you further insight on how healthy communication makes a marriage thrive.
ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach
Follow Me on Twitter/FaceBook/Instagram: @ZeeZeeIO
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