It is challenging for the girl child too
I read an article recently where a mother declared that, “it is not a tea party raising a girl child.”I want to remind us, too, that growing up is not a picnic for the growing girl either. Unlike the male child whose life may be said to be relatively easier because there is less pressure to conform; for the girl, her sex is already a problem; it is the message she gets from those around her.
Sometime ago, I paid particular attention when a young woman read a piece of poetry she titled: “What my mother did not tell me.”To some people, it probably was just a string of words but I heard a woman who, although loves her mother, but she wished that she ought to have told her more. The budding poet was, however, also kind enough to point out that her mother did not know much herself. In understanding the girl child, we may have to begin from the beginning-from that period she attains teenage age. She has changed both outwardly and inwardly with physical development, which gives her that appearance of a woman.
So much is happening within that she would have loved to share with her mother but whom she may think does not have time to listen to her.
In early teens, she is faced with the realities of womanhood with the onset of the menstrual cycle. The bodily changes like the development of breasts may make her feel awkward; she may be shy because she sees that she gradually looks like her elder sister who may be harassed because she is a woman. However, she sees and appreciates her new independence and she wants to do things her own way. At 15, she has mastered home keeping, you taught her.
But the biggest issues are:
She Is Dating Too Soon
Worse, she is sexually active at 15, every mother’s nightmare. You may not be able to do much if your 15 year-old daughter’s head literally turns because of the admiration from men. But talking about dignity in whom she dates will work wonders; keep her dreaming by talking about the rich and famous man who is waiting just for her to finish school. “Look at him; do you see him as your partner in the future?”
One issue may be that she wants to go out, to parties, so you pray that no harm comes her way. However, a girl’s social life is not always an issue because with discussion, mother and child will always reach an agreement.
Another is the way the growing girl wants to dress. That skimpy top and revealing dress is an appeal now; she wants to show off her perfect shape. So she is at a war with her parents. I think however that gently talking to her would bring the change.
The girl watches as that older woman near her changes from phase to absolute wreck right under her gaze and thinks that such fate awaits her. The few I have heard speak on the subject would say that they don’t know how long their youthful figure would last. So they want to enjoy dressing the way they like. All you can do is talk, not nag, and when it cannot be managed demand that she changes the dress. And while at this conflict, remember that you are dealing with one who have not long passed the stage of infancy where children have no idea of what to wear to where.
But to make raising the girl child a bit easier, you may perhaps train your son to be empathetic towards a woman; it is not a man’s world at all. If the Creator had intended it to a world lived solely by the male gender the woman would not be here. Keep her busy, enroll her in activities you think she would love and be distracted from indulging in things that could jeopardize her future.
Remember, the hood does not make the monk, as the saying goes-scanty dress does not make a whore either-try to reach the inner recess of your daughter’s mind-why does she do it? Her scanty dressing or covering up to the extreme may be a form of protest.
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