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How dangerous emotions can work for you

By Kemi Amushan
27 October 2018   |   4:10 am
We all know that jealousy, anger and envy are the three most dangerous emotions that can ruin a relationship. Whether it is a sexual relationship or not...

We all know that jealousy, anger and envy are the three most dangerous emotions that can ruin a relationship. Whether it is a sexual relationship or not, it can completely bring it to the ground. But what if jealousy, envy and anger could make you more attractive, powerful and seen as high value? You think that is impossible?

I am sure when you go through some books especially the Christian books, it will show you how to avoid or try to get rid of these emotions. But you then see that it is not working for you. Do not blame yourself, what if those advices go against your nature, the type of person that you are?

I discovered a radical but highly effective way to handle jealousy, envy and anger. I am going to share with you if you are open to it, it can set you free emotionally. Trust me.

First, let us look at what these emotions are, so we are on the same page:
*Envy occurs when we lack a desired attribute enjoyed by another.
*Jealousy occurs when something we already possess (usually a special relationship) is threatened by a third person.
*Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.

While they are normal, how you choose to deal with them will either harm or help you. The solution is not easy nor will it happen overnight, but it is simple. I have used it to set myself free emotionally and I want you to also do the same.
Embrace it.

Do not fight the feeling, admit it. “I feel jealous, envious or angry. It is perfectly okay.” Let it flow through you.
Turnaround.

Turn the focus on you. Ask revealing questions like “Why am I really feeling this? What is the lesson to learn? It is almost as if you are observing the emotion as an outsider. The point is to start thinking clearly and find what is underneath the emotion. This fresh way of thinking will take time to practice before it becomes a part of you, but it is well worth the discipline.
Empower.

What action can you take to empower yourself and the other person? I am going to give you two examples: An attractive woman walks in while you are on a date with a man you like. Instead of trying to take attention away from her or getting upset if he looks at her, compliment her. Tell him something you like about her. He will be pleasantly surprised. You will show him that you are one of those rare women who is secure in herself enough to openly acknowledge another woman’s beauty. (Even if you don’t feel secure, just taking that action will cultivate that energy within you.)

The other example is: A colleague gets promoted and her salary increased and is moved to a secluded office out of the general office. Instead of feeling envy, celebrate her. Then ask yourself where you have been settling in your life. What is it that I have not given myself permission to have? What steps can you take to create the dream life you desire?

These two examples may or may not resonate with you, but you get the point, right? It is never about the other woman, it is about you. How you handle it can be high or low value. Ignoring or glossing over emotions weaken you. Acknowledging and changing your perception strengthen you. This is the key to living with emotional freedom.

I read somewhere that 90% of error in thinking is due to error in perception. If you can change your perception, you can change your emotion and this can lead to new ideas. So many women and girls need to know this. Let’s usher in a new evolution of a woman. A woman who is able to turn jealousy, envy and anger into tools for her growth while supporting other women. It is not that hard to do.

To our happiness. Cheers.

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