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Gifting your children can improve their wellness, output

By Ijeoma Thomas-Odia 29 December 2018   |   3:53 am

Gifts. Photo credit: Green wedding Nigeria

Gifts are a form of showing appreciation. They help to enhance the performance of the receiver into doing more.

It is quite important to show gratitude for favours, job well done and also to boost the morale of an individual with gifts.

Now, let’s liken it to our children – when a child receives a gift from his dad, his excitement will usually be indescribable especially when he has made daddy proud, of course he is gingered to do more to receive additional gifts.

This is not to say gifts should be a form of bribery; they are boosters, when a child is super excited after receiving a gift, it improves his overall attitude and whatever he does henceforth gets a boost.

However, gifts can come in various forms- an outing, a favourite toy or granting a particular request the child has longed wanted.

What is most important is the positive change and spark you bring into the child’s life. This enhances your relationship with your child.

A parenting enthusiast and founder, Women With Stories International, Naomi Osemedua, said that one of her favourite moments as a child was always during reward seasons. “I remember my father always putting a prize to a great result after examinations.

Personally, it encouraged me to do better because I wanted to get the gift and to an extent even in my adulthood, I still hold those memories close to my heart.

“As a mum to four wonderful children today, I personally believe that gifts are necessary when it comes to parenting.

While some may argue that it is a form of bribery to reward children based on their performance, I tend to disagree with that idea. Let’s come to terms with the reality that there is a longing in each of us to be celebrated or recognised.

“Even at work when you do a fantastic job, you look forward to a raise. Sometimes, it may not necessarily be a cash gift, but the mere fact that you are celebrated pushes you to even do better next time.

Caution must be applied not to spite a child who does not perform as expected because that can lead to resentment that could be damaging.

So, instead of just restricting gifts to excellence in exams, an improved performance, a teacher’s comment or good behaviour can be rewarded so no one is left out of the celebrations.”

Mrs. Osemedua said she is of the opinion that gifts should come as often as needed not just on special days, especially when not expected. I believe it enhances the relationship we have with our children when we celebrate them even on non-special occasions.

There is a sense of pride and confidence when our children know and believe that they are special and giving even the “gift of time” can go a long way in influencing our children to make better decisions in life as they would not want to disappoint their parents.

She stressed that when it comes to giving gifts, “I believe it does not always have to be a cash reward or a physical gift. In this age of social media and every distraction imaginable, one of the greatest gifts we can give is our time.

“When was the last time, you showed up earlier than planned just to say goodnight to your child before bed-time. It has become commonplace for parents sometimes to go weeks and months on end without seeing their children before bedtime or even when they wake up. While some may argue about doing it all to provide for the children, I believe balance is key and wisdom is profitable to direct. Would you rather be that parent who is consistently absent or one that makes the effort intentionally to be present for their children? I can tell you confidently that it will amaze you what some of our children would value as a gift in the times we now live.”

Mrs. Osemedua added that sometimes we say it’s not just the gift, but the thought that counts. “I believe as parents we ought to think about our gift carefully.

Understand your children well enough to know what they value and don’t just throw money around and buy toys or send them off on holidays alone when all they want is the ‘gift of you’.”

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