For the woman in a relationship…

Love, sex, friendship and well…just about any relationship in your life can be complicated. Relationships are tricky; there is no right way to go about it, no way to ensure it’ll work out, but everyone’s got an idea of how you should approach them — especially concerned mothers!

I am not a relationship expert but in my 39-year sojourn on earth, I can safely say a thing or two about relationships. We would consider a few relationships advise that I’m pretty sure your mama never gave you!

Whatever you do, simply guard your self-esteem! It is essential for every woman to learn to treasure and guide her SELF ESTEEM jealously and never to dump it in the incinerator of ecstasy!

There are 7 Billion people in the world, why would you want to kill yourself or allow yourself be made miserable by JUST ONE??? Think about this and make it your first consolation Mantra!

SELF-LOVE, SELF RESPECT and SELF WORTH are three essentials for ladies too. There is a reason they all start with the SELF…you cannot find them in anyone else but you! So why let anyone rob you of these?

Here are a few other tips you may want to consider. Kindly take the ones you may want to apply and ignore the ones you don’t fancy.

1. Stop searching for the right man… be the right woman so you can attract the right man! Work hard to make yourself the woman a man needs…not a woman that wants a man!

2. No Mediocre Love: Life is full of mediocrity in all ramifications already so unless it’s hot, true, passionate love…it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life and love shouldn’t be one of them!

3. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be neither should you try to change him… it never works! The only person you can change is yourself. Sorry, as painful as it may be, sometimes it’s better to step out of a bad relationship and step into your own happiness.

4. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. And don’t ever make him feel less important than you are either.

5. Never try to be who you are not just to impress a man you fancy. When your true color comes to light, it could cause a lot of issues. Be yourself…who will love you will love you regardless!

6. Avoid an insecure man who feels threatened by your success and would do anything to dull your shine. If your partner does not bring out the best in you, you are definitely in the wrong relationship.

7. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior and don’t make excuses for your own bad behavior either. Take action, make a change and created the life you deserve.

8. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complementary not supplementary.

9. Avoid a man who treats his Mother or his Sisters with disdain. He is likely to treat you the same way.

10. Run away from Part Time Lovers. You don’t need them in your lives. They are either with you or not. They just can’t come and go as they please.

11. Always remember there is no one you cannot live without…even if you are Siamese Twins!

12. Fall madly in love with yourself. Love yourself enough to take actions that are required for your happiness; Love yourself enough to cut yourself loose from ties of drama filled people; Love yourself enough to MOVE ON!

13. Avoid Loser Partner: The Loser is a type of partner that creates much social, emotional and psychological damage in a relationship. They usually have permanent personality characteristics that create this damage which they simply accept as the way they are and not a problem or psychological imbalance.

Finally, what you would not take in marriage, please don’t take in courtship! Be you…BE REAL! Your own man will love you just the way you are. Love is not to be forced…Love is not to be endured…it is to be ENJOYED!

While having realistic expectations in your relationship, do not overlook fundamental issues that could cause you a lifetime of misery by waving it off with a shrug of “Love is Blind” because I can assure you Marriage certainly restores the vision!

Enjoy your love life!

Mercy Makinde is a speaker, writer, coach and entrepreneurship advocate. She owns an online radio Station, Iaspire Radio, Nigeria’s first motivational radio Station; www.iaspireradio.com and a motivational and inspirational blog;www.iaspireblog.com.