‘Couples should give more time to understand each other’

Nike Adedokun Folagbade is the Convener Evolve Summit and founder, Relationship Capsules. The young lady, who has written six books including How I Got The Ring, had her secondary school education at Barachel Model College and Royal Crown Comprehensive High School, Lagos. The Accounting graduate of Tai Solarin University of Education, Ogun State told GERALDINE AKUTU about her work, family and upcoming summit in Lagos and other issues.  

Can you share your growing up experience?
Growing up was filled with lots of experiences as the first and only daughter among three children. I had to live intentionally to be a model to my siblings. My parents were disciplined and this formed my conduct as I grew up. I grew up in Lagos before relocating to Okada, Benin with my parents. As a young teen, I had identity crisis and had to deal with peer pressure and low self-esteem. As a curious child, I wanted to know more about life. I have always wanted to inspire people through speaking but I was shy and ignorant so I focused on other hobbies. As time grew, I began to observe the talents that I have and I began to develop them.

What is Evolve Summit all about?
Evolve Summit is a faith-based initiative focused on transforming lives with real life experiences. Our core focus areas are emotional healing, sexual healing and purpose discovery. We believe that there is a message in every pain, addiction and confused path. The summit brings people from various fields to share how their upbringing, environment and significant emotional experiences led to their journey of purpose. Evolve Summit held its first edition in April, 2017 and the second edition is scheduled to hold in April 21, 2018.

What were the initial challenges?
I have hosted other forms of workshop and seminars before, but for this event, I was concerned about the huge resources, attendance and outcome, but to my greatest surprise, there was provision and human resources. The feedbacks were amazing too. I’m glad I started regardless of my fears.

How long have you been doing this?
I have been doing this for five years and I have created various platforms and medium to reach out to people. I started by writing on my free blog before moving to my official brand at www.relationshipcapsules.com where I share insights and resources on overcoming heartbreaks, becoming attractive and building a stress free relationship. I have coached and mentored over 7,000 singles from over seven countries directly and indirectly through my books, website, personal coaching, online courses, counselling, online platforms and ministrations.

What success stories have you recorded so far?
My success stories come from seeing clients share their testimony of being healed from failed relationships, attracting their life partner and rediscovering themselves. I have also been recognised as the best sexuality advocate on Twitter by Analyst Nigeria, listed as one of the 15 top sought-after coaches in Nigeria amongst other recognitions. I have also been interviewed on various television and Radio stations.

Who are your role models?
Joyce Meyer and Oprah Winfrey.

What is your normal working day like?
I presently work from my home office. I start my day by setting the to-do list for the day then I tackle it one after the other. I also take time to rest and meditate for creativity and inspiration.

Can you share your most memorable moments?
The day I married my best friend and gave birth to my adorable son.

How do you balance work and home?
I create time for official things and also set my home-front properly. Presently, I have been able to handle both. I also delegate some works when it feels overwhelming.

What do you think is the cause of divorce?
There are diverse reasons for divorce like high expectations from spouse, personality differences, compatibility issues, communication gap, ignorance and selfish gains.

How can spouses deal with their differences?
Spouses should understand that they grew up in different homes, have unique experiences and had diverse upbringing. They should take time to discuss about their life differences and manage the knowledge they have about each other. Couples need to also give more time to understand each other. Communication and active listening is a skill every couple should learn to help deal with differences. It’s advisable to invest in knowledge on how to build the right marriage system and avoid comparing their marriage with other people.

What’s your style of dressing?
I love causal wears. My style is warm and classy.

What valuable lessons have you learnt in this business?
I have learnt that a lot of people are in pain masked by different faces. People seek to be loved and are conditioned by their exposures to life. A lot are driven by the need for certainty, security and connection. Personally, I have also learnt not to judge people and to keep showing up daily.

Your advice to upcoming entrepreneurs
It takes consistency and perseverance to grow, it doesn’t just happen. There is nothing like luck but only efforts matched with right timing and preparation. The right set of people will come and seeking validation from people is the easiest trap to downfall. Gain clarity as you grow, build relationships, keep offering excellence, learn the right skills, network, do volunteer work and add value to people.