Be at the top in life and your relationships

This is strictly for the Men. Men are all competitive in life, it is their nature as God created them to be. They all want to be that guy winning the first-place trophy, being the biggest and baddest guy at work, and gaining the respect and love of the one stealing their hearts.

Just as women search for the right partner, so do men. Men searching for that right partner, are always looking for the one who “fits” them best, giving them that special balance making them whole. Some get lucky and find it early in life, others discover “the one” just when they think they’ll never cross their paths.

But, when “the one” does eventually show up, she owes it to herself to make sure you’re as much a priority to her as she is to you. That you’re number1 and not just another person on their blackberry contact list, Instagram or facebook account. That they are in it for the long haul, together, with you, without major issues dragging you down making you feel unimportant. And if you are accepting less than you honestly feel you deserve, more than likely, things will probably get worse before they get better.

Now some reading this may think I am being partial or something but over the years, I found out that men basically want what women want too. Believe me. Men want…
Emotional Needs

Some guys may think they are above feeling vulnerable, needy, or that they are one who should not display emotion or that they should always be the rock, the general, and a man never letting others see you cry. But realistically, a man cannot be this way all the time. They are human beings too, and that means finding someone who will lift them up, support, and help carry their cross to the finish line when they need it most. Of course, a man’s role is to always be there for his girl, that is what they ought to do. But, we as women also have a right to have our needs met as well. And there is an old saying that goes thus: “Behind every great man there is a greater woman.”

So, how do you know your woman is on your side of things, emotionally, making you a top priority?

*Does she appreciate you and show it through her words and actions?

*Does she understand where you are coming from and really listen when you are concerned or fearful? *Is there trust and honesty in your relationship?

If this is true, the first step is realizing exactly what you need from the other person and communicating it directly. If they are truly interested in the health of your relationship, they will take steps to improve the situation. If not, then perhaps they are not the one for you. But it all starts with expressing your feelings and getting the right response.

Everyday Needs
These are some basic, common areas, which can keep you from being her top priority: Communication, family, career etc. Let’s start with Communication

Is there balance when you speak with each other? Do you focus and really “hear” what the other has to say, especially when disagreements occur? Is there an urgency to solve issues when they arise, or are they merely swept under the rug to be continued later? If she is only seeing her side of things it is time to let your voice be heard. Do you feel second or third next to the internet? This is a huge problem and no man should be cast aside in favor of a plastic screen. After all, those voices and words she hears and reads are not sitting next to her, you are. As a woman I would not take that from my man and I do not feel it right for women to do the same to their man.

When you get serious about a relationship, most likely her family is part of the package, which is great as long as she can balance their needs with yours. But if she is spending her evenings on the phone with her mom, filling the living room with relatives every weekend, or if you have children she is making them her life while placing you on the back burner, then boundaries clearly need to be enforced immediately.

Now, children need love and attention more than anything. But just make sure that a little bit of some time-off from time to time and some serious love-making happens after the lights go out. Understood?

Careers are a tough one to compete with, but we all must work to survive. However, if she is making her career more important than you, placing you well beneath her boss’s needs, or voluntarily traveling more than required to have more freedom, then you are not the most important person in her life. Trust me.

In other words, if she values her career more than you then it is time to make adjustments. If not you will resent her for it, she will resent you, and that is not a healthy existence.

I have had pets and loved them all. There are few things cuter than a newborn puppy. But if you are with someone placing more importance on her animals needs than yours, then you best get a handle on this, rapidly. This is just an example.

It could be anything at all taking her attention but make sure you tackle it immediately before you loose her completely because we women are easily distracted.

Being top priority in a relationship is what creates intimacy. Those special feelings of being wanted, needed, and loved completely makes it all worthwhile. Never accept anything less.

To our happiness. Cheers.