Another shamelessness…

I have often opined that nothing brings a lady in contact with every imaginable LOW LIFE (in the form of a man) like DESPERATION FOR THE MRS TITLE. I mean desperation is all it will ever take to find charlatans in your space.

A senior friend in her late 40s told me that one of the guys that she eventually found the strength to show the door had the habit of asking for a tuber of yam (yes, you read right!)…whenever he’s about leaving her house. And that’s after doing lunch or dinner at her place.

Yet, this is someone that claimed to be a car dealer.

One thought that a man who has an iota of DIGNITY in him would rather give her some money (even if it’s not much) to buy a tuber of yam for him-if he so much enjoyed the one she prepared for him.

No, this one was asking for a tuber of yam and even made it a habit!

Another lady told me that her friend linked her with a guy, who claimed to be based in Malaysia, and that the very first day they met…he borrowed a thousand naira from her to buy recharge card.

By the second week of their “knowing” each other, he was asking her to raise a N50, 000 loan for him.

I don’t even want to go into details about another friend that is based overseas, who was introduced to a guy here, she called him the next day and they talked. Since then, whenever he wants them to talk-he would give her missed call (flashing)…she never bothered with him afterwards.

This next story was also shared with me by a reader: “I have a colleague who bragged to me few months ago that she paid her bride price- and she was just 28years when she married the guy. In Abuja here, it is so rampant, lazy guys trooping in to Abuja to tell a working class lady that God sent them to marry her. Two particular Nigerian tribes have the higher rate. I’m not excusing the rest; they have joined the train, too. They are usually good-looking, and their job? Contractor! Their target? Marriage and a lady’s bank account. In fact, they propose few days after meeting a lady. If you are in Abuja- watch it!

Back to my colleague’s gist, she married her very handsome hubby; till now, I have not recovered from that gist. In fact, the current car that her hubby drives, she also bought it!

Of course, she doesn’t respect her husband; she travels often with her “extra men.” She once borrowed 200k from me to give her husband, because he so threatened her that she knelt down begging me for the money, but she paid up anyway. When I told her that marrying the man is sort of a curse, she said: “Things have changed, this is civilization.” I wouldn’t want to say other things that she told me. To me, paying my bride price is extreme desperation.

Anything for the Mrs. Title, wouldn’t you say??? How shameless some of our men have allowed themselves to become! The statistics of ladies funding their own marriage (single-handedly) is alarming.

How does any woman feel in a marriage that she practically paid her way into? And the one who seems to have brought only his “third leg” to the table, is still expected to be referred to as a man, in such a marriage?

I have always said this current generation of young men are fast losing it -SUBSTANCE wise!

Everyone is looking to be identified (in a relationship) with someone who has something to offer…so your ‘third leg’ isn’t enough qualification!

Go add VALUE to your life. God helps those who make an effort and it matters not how small you are starting, what will count at the end of the day is your consistency and drive.

Finally, my two cents to ladies has always remained…It is far better to remain single than end up with someone who will keep you in perpetual misery -in the name of marriage!

I am still pleading with a practitioner friend in the mental health field to let me have access to certain data, after I came across a study that claimed that most people suffering from high blood pressure are young people (below age 50). And that more than half of them are those having marital issues.

The one that will interest you more is the percentage of those that are seeking psychiatric interventions due to marital issues.

Be mindful that except you really know what you want…you may end up with the kind of men described above-if you keep burning bridges (via your attitude) with the “good men” that come your way!