First Class Single Lady
You are not far from it if you believe she wants to talk about class. I am talking about class, first class, but from a different view.
We always see the society ladies as the first class single ladies. We always want to equate first class singleness with wealth, material possessions, and comfort. We always look at those living in posh houses in good neighborhoods. Young girls buy magazines just to watch the faces of our “society ladies”. The girls are not to blame in totality because our parents have not helped matters. They compare their good daughters with the bad girls who are into prostitution in big cities with shops to cover up. This has turned our society to one with no regard for morals and cultural values.
If my understanding of the word, ‘First Class Single’ is not what you know it to be, what then is it? I will tell you what makes one a first class single lady
Fear of God
You can never discover yourself until you first discover God. You can go ahead and give me names of people who made it without God. Hear this; you can climb to the top of the highest mountain, but if you don’t get there with God, you are bound to crash-land.
When I talk about the fear of God, I am not talking about religion and denominations. I mean a very personal relationship with God. This is not about religious rites and observation of religious seasons. The fear of God makes you to know that you need God at all times and because you are not perfect, you keep running back to Him whenever you miss it.
Self esteem is what will make you know that you can survive without any man. I believe we need each other to survive. I believe in the saying; man is God to man. I know that sometimes God raises men to take us through a particular phase of our lives. I totally agree with you if you think you need that man to survive. But I am going to disagree with you if you tell me you cannot survive without him.
Self esteem will make you walk out of any relationship that makes you another piece of furniture. I write from the Christian perspective because I am a Christian who doesn’t know much about the Quran. Remember the story of Ruth and Esther in the Bible. The future looked gloomy to them and they didn’t know what the future holds. But they made up their minds to take a step out of their different positions to a place of hopelessness. At the end, they were blessed-Jesus Christ came from the lineage of Ruth while Esther became a queen.
I know you are worried about your future without that man. I know you don’t want to be in that relationship, but you see yourself tied to it. You have looked at the future and it looks dark without him, but if you know who you are and what is in you, you will take a walk. What should bother you most in this life should be what God thinks about you and if His presence is with you, every other thing will definitely fall in place someday.
I see so many ladies regret and mourn their singleness. Singleness does not mean loneliness. You can only be lonely and incomplete when you choose to. I am not trying to discourage people from getting married because marriage to the right partner is the most beautiful thing that can happen to any woman.
But I want to let you know that singleness should be a time to develop yourself holistically in education, business, ministry, career, etc. Single ladies get frustrated and depressed because they fail to understand the reason for singleness. If you fail to discover yourself as a single girl; you will make life miserable for whoever gets involved with you. Ruth was busy with her job and chosen career when Boaz met her. She was not partying and dancing away her life. Ruth was busy with her hands. Girl, you have to find your place in destiny. God created you for something and He can only bless you when He finds you diligent in your work.
Are you reading this now and you feel like she is talking only to the educated ones? Do you tell yourself that nothing good can come out of Nazareth? Read this story; a distant cousin was living in a mud house with her mother who is a widow.She, being the only child always goes to the farm immediately after school. She didn’t know how to further her education; her school uniform was torn and patched all over.
A day came that on her way from the farm, a young medical doctor who came in from the USA saw her and instantly fell in love with her. Today, she is in the USA, working as a nurse and her mum has been with them since then. You could be the instrument God will use to bring your parents out of poverty.
You may think you must have to do certain things to survive. I know you are there as a house help, but remember He lifts the poor out of the dunghill and I know God is able to move you from that grass to grace and glory.
Singleness is not a time for partying and man hunting. It is not a time to look for precious souls to destroy. It is not a time to visit different occult homes for devilish powers. Singleness is not a time to follow men all over the country aimlessly. It is not a time to travel abroad with a man who is growing his business while you waste away in the name of enjoyment.
Have you bothered asking why those men are not giving you something good for you to be independent? They will give you good money, but they will forever put you under their oppressing arms. Young girl, develop yourself.
It’s not just the guys wanting to test-run single ladies believe they must test-run the man by sleeping with him before marriage. If you keep test running, how many of them are you going to sleep with before the right one comes? Please don’t make yourself a testing ground for men. What if you decide to test him before marriage and immediately after the marriage, something happens? This is why we shouldn’t try to take the place of God. Whatever is not done out of love leads to pain.
A woman I know very well lost a wonderful man who refused sleeping with her before marriage. When I tried talking to her, she came up with the question; what if I blindly marry him only to discover he is not a man? She later got married to another guy who slept with her, got her pregnant and dumped her immediately after the marriage. The other man today is happily married with two wonderful children.
Never Be Jealous
First class singles don’t waste time being jealous. They know that God loves them and they rule the world. They are not subdued by anything, even the progress of their friends and age mates. They don’t waste time giving reasons why that man shouldn’t marry her or why she shouldn’t marry him. They are too focused to spend time analyzing issues that have nothing to do with them.They genuinely rejoice with those that rejoice and mourn with those that mourn.
Another thing you should learn to do as a single woman is to stop running from one big church to the other. A lot of single ladies do this with the mindset that if they join a big church and become a chorister, men will see them. The right man will see you wherever you are, even in the most hidden place.
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