Single and Secured… recipe for happy marriage
AFRICAN society places great emphasis on marriage. For this reason, pressures are mounted on every single woman that has attained marriageable age.
The desperation to get married through any means could be partly blamed for marital crises, some of which lead to separation or outright divorce.
It is in her bid to see that both married and single ones are secured and happy that Titi Caetano emerged with a book titled Single and Secured in Christ: Key to a Happy Marriage.
Published by Vineyard International Ministries, U.S.A three months ago, the book has a total of 10 Chaters, segmented into 108 pages that are both inspirational and religious.
Speaking to jurnalists early this week in Abuja, Ceatano said the publication was born out of her personal experience as well as the need educate others, especially young women on the relevance of enhancing their relationship with God. This, she stated, should be the priority of every woman, married or single.
She added: “The book was motivated by a sum total of my experience; what I have learnt from precious people God had caused to cross my path and the inspirations and wisdoms of my spiritual mentors.
“What spurted me to writing the book two years ago was also my passion for relationship counseling, which was borne out of the storms of life thrown at me by some key people in my life.
“It deemed it important for me to educate others that relationship first with God, then with fellow mankind is paramount to life”.
The author noted that the book emphasizes the criticalness of being single, which to her, also means being a whole person in Christ before marriage, while married or unmarried.
” It also stresses the importance of being joined together in Christ as a married couple. The book accentuates the sacredness of singleness and how fulfillment in Christ as an individual determines the success of a marriage. It also encourages every individual to strive for spiritual development and stability”.
Although the book was earlier launched in the US, Ceatano said it became imperative to relaunch it in Nigeria considering how relationships are influenced by the cultural, traditional, political, and economical factors.
“Practically, everything in the society is structured to make us feel like as soon as a child reaches puberty, he or she must start thinking about marriage.
“Pressure to marry comes from families,friends and the environment even though it is unintentional. Many marriages are entered into lightly or flippantly without adequate preparations.
“The book was written to pass the message that age does not determine readiness for marriage but how fulfilled, whole and complete one is as an individual regardless of status”, Ceatano said
Though the book appears to have targetted the youths of marraigeable age, the author however said her target audiences are primarily the singles and unmarried including the divorced, widows and widowers.
Going through some of the chapters, the book in Chater One, explains the folktales of singleness in our culture, how being single or unmarried is perceived as being cursed or subhuman as well as how singleness is being confused with being alone.
Chapter Two explains how God perceives singleness to be the highest call in the spiritual realm. It also explains how self discovery, self esteem, self worth, self concept, self realization and self actualization are prerequisites for a healthy marriage.
Chapter three defines the difference between being single and unmarried. According to the author, “singleness means coming to terms with ourselves and being content and satisfied with who we are, not placing our happiness in other people but God”.
The next chapter hinges on the scripture, which clearly explains that staying unmarried is not a curse but that on the other hand, it is better to be married than to burn with passion”.
Coming to the fifth chapter, ig explains the attributes and gifts God gives to an effective single, such as his image, vision, presence, work, cultivation, protection as well as the Word. “When a person manifests these gifts to some degree and is increasing in them, it is apparent that he or she is ready for marriage”, he said.
Chapter six explains the two principles God has for men as regards marriage. One of such principles is that a man must leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife.
“Therefore, the success of a marriage rests on the shoulders of a man but it doesn’t mean that it is the husband’s fault if anything goes wrong. It is also stated that marriage can be challenging if contracted out of the will of God as he is a witness to every marriage but not the junior of every marriage”.
Chapter Seven dwelt on divorce and goes to explain that divorce is a symptomatic manifestation of marital deficiency. The author added that divorce is not of God but without studying the word according to sound principle and divine interpretation, one will end up with a lot of wrong conclusions.