How should a man propose to a lady?


It was all laughter, when sometime ago, I asked some young ladies to tell how their husbands proposed to them. A lady talked about how a man’s branch pastor called her out of a combined service and brought her face to face with this young man, who worships in another branch of the church. The man, who is now her husband, without any romantic preamble said something like: “I’d like you to be my wife.” Another lady talked about how her man invited her to an eatery. Right there and then the man said, “I want to marry you.” In another case, the man simply went to the lady and gave her a piece of paper. In it, the man wrote, “I want you to be my wife.” Two young single ladies protested against the way these men proposed.

My wife, Carol and I told one of the ladies that the most important thing is not the manner of approach. Instead, the lady should concentrate her spiritual, mental and physical energy on whether the man will make a good husband or not. But this beautiful young lady did not seem to fully agree with us. She made us understand that one of the sweet memories she will like to keep remembering throughout her lifetime is how her husband proposed. We have always told singles over the years that how a man proposes should never be an issue that will decide whether she should agree or not. We have found out that a man, who has never wooed a lady in his growing up years, does not find it easy proposing.

We also discovered that some are reserved, but highly responsible men propose to ladies in highly non-romantic ways, though there are some responsible men, who have also proposed in highly romantic ways. But all in all, we have seen that majority of men, who are sweet talkers, while proposing (whose sweet words make the head of a lady to spin) are very good at wooing ladies. They have perfected the act due to much practice.

From a highly limited environmental scanning, we have also found out that a higher percentage of men, who propose to their girls with less sugary words, have less adulterous tendencies than those men, whose words and actions tantalise a group of two or three or more women. While we will insist that how a man proposes is not what will determine the success of a marriage, we appeal to Christian young men to be more courageous, more creative and add more sweetness, while proposing to a lady. Everything should, however, be done within lovely Biblical context.

But I do not like the case of a brother, who proposed this way. He told a lady, “let us pray.” He prayed like this: “Father in heaven, you know I do not have the boldness to speak to this lady. I pray that you will touch her heart, so that she will agree to be my wife in the…” Before he could add “in the Name of Jesus,” the lady stopped the prayer. For me, this is spiritual manipulation. Some men propose this way,“God has said that you are my wife.” This also is spiritual manipulation. Many cases like this turned out that God did not actually speak. But even if God did, a man should not propose that way. He should remove God out of it and propose the best way he knows how. If God is behind it, He will confirm it without His Name being dragged into it.
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In this article:
Charles Ighele
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