Getting married with an income of N45,000

Many years ago a pastor in our church advised a school certificate holder of about 29 years of age who wanted to be rich before getting married. Over the years I have added the wisdom of this pastor to my own to advice young men who want to be rich before they get married. The advice was something like this “some of your age mates went to the University and you did not. This means that, as far as education is concerned, these age mates are your seniors. Must you also allow their children to be seniors to your children educationally? Since these your age mates are already your seniors in education, get married before them so that your children can be seniors to their children in age and education.”

While advising people along this line, I have made them realise that they are not COMPETING with anybody. NEVER. During one of our interactive sessions with young people, some believed that many girls will never mind settling down with a man whose monthly income is forty five thousand naira while some felt that there is hardly any educated girl who will want to do such. Mrs Bunmi Thompson and my daughter Mrs Noja Ighele-Alaigba who moderated the session teased the audience of the needs of some of today’s females such as good accommodation, Brazilian hair, good food, baby needs, etc. Bunmi gave her example of how her man’s monthly income was low. Her father was a very senior officer with the Central Bank of Nigeria but she had to step down to marry her man. She said she saw something different in the man and she was ready to step down to his financial level to build their future financial fortunes. Today her husband has a by far better monthly income.

It is just a matter of a man “cutting his coat according to his cloth.” One of the most important financial laws is that a person should NEVER spend more than what he or she earns. Any lady that will make a young man spend more than he earns violates this important financial law and is not yet fit to be a wife. She is not a helper but a spender. She is not prudent. Pro 19:14 says …“and a prudent wife is from the Lord.” If a young man’s monthly income is forty five thousand naira and he lives in Lagos where the rents are high, he can look for an accommodation where the rent is between five to ten thousand naira monthly and get married to a lady who is ready to live in that kind of accommodation. This reminds me, of a young man whose wedding Carol and I conducted outside Lagos some years ago. The man was engaged to a lady and had a car. But in one of his visits to the lady, he arrived on top of a motorcycle that is being used for transport (Okada). Upon enquiry, the young man told the lady that he had sold his car. That made the lady cut off the engagement. The young man later told Carol and I that he actually sold the car so as to add money to it to buy a better car, but that he also wanted to test the lady whether the lady loved his car more than she loved him. Unfortunately, she failed the test and the man got married to someone else.

I hereby put it to you that any girl who thinks that you are good enough and man enough but will not want to marry you because you earn forty five thousand naira monthly does not love you deep enough.

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