Fanning the fire of marital love

I am never tired of letting couples know that love is like a fire made of wood. If unattended to, the fire will be quenched and your married life will not be properly cooked. Just imagine a pot of soup, rice or beans that is not properly cooked, would you like to have a taste of such? Certainly not. But you see, that is how many people’s marriages are. Some are totally uncooked, while some that were cooked during early period of their marital lives have gone sour because of the absence of fire to keep it tasty.

WHEN MAMA PRAYS is the title of a monthly programme my wife Carol organises for strictly females aged eighteen and above. After a powerful session of prayers and teachings during WHEN MAMA PRAYS, sometime ago, many of the women started asking questions concerning areas they were hurting. Of particular interest was that of a middle-aged woman, who said her mother complained to her that her father was no longer sexually attracted to her.

The solution suggested by another woman set the whole hall agog. She explained that her own parents had been in a similar situation. According to her, her mother complained to her that her father had not shown interest in making love to her for a long time. She said what she did was to take her mother shopping and changed her clothes. She did this because she noticed that her mother’s clothes were possibly one of the reasons her father was tuned off emotionally. But after her mother started dressing in a smarter manner and put away her buba and iro, the man started stealing glances at her and resumed their love and sex lives. The women laughed and hailed.

The fire that was needed to put the above mentioned marriage back on track was for the wife to dress in a more attractive manner, both within and outside the home. I remember the first time I had a similar experience many years ago. We were in our forties, and I noticed that our love life was getting cold. We were not quarreling, but the spark was not there. I discovered that the fire that I needed was to make Carol look more ‘girly’. We went to a shop, bought some nice fitting clothes (some of which were and are for my eyes only). And off we went on a three-day holiday at a holiday resort.

We felt more physically attracted to ourselves, hugging and kissing the way we used to do. We succeeded in setting fire to the love pot of our marital life. Since then, whenever we notice that our love life is getting cold, we DELIBERATELY search out ways to revive it or look for NEW WAYS to add fire to the love we have for each other. Knowing that you love each other is not enough. What makes marital love sweet is when couples make efforts to FIRE UP their feelings for each other.

I state here again that love does not grow alone. It needs to be fanned, so that the fire of love can keep burning brighter and brighter. Putting more fire into your love life through romantic evenings out, romantic weekends out once in a while, vacations, surprises, little gifts, romantically slapping each other’s bum bum and constantly working on your God-given ability to verbally and physically express your love to your spouse are some of the ways that will add more fire to your marital love. I pray that your love life will never be quenched. Love you.
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Email: lovearena@holyspiritmission.org