Essential elements of a good relationship – Part 2

Chidi Okoroafor

If the two most important commandments are to love God and love people, it is, therefore, essential that you learn how to build healthy relationships with one another. Here are some keys to doing that:

Ways Of Building Good Work Relationships Continued

• Start with yourself: (Matthew 22:39 – love your neighbour as yourself). We can only love others to the degree that we love ourselves, and we only love ourselves to the degree that we know the love of God.

• Appreciate Others: Show your appreciation whenever someone helps you, especially your deputy, colleagues or subordinates.

Remember that everyone, no matter that his/her rank wants to be appreciated. So, genuinely compliment the people around you when they do something well. This will open the door to great work relationships.

• Be Positive: Focus on being positive. Positivity is attractive and contagious, and it will help strengthen your relationships with your colleagues. No one wants to be around someone who’s negative all the time.

• Manage the Boundaries and Respect other People’s Privacy: It is important to set and manage boundaries properly, especially between you, your deputy, colleagues or subordinates.

Give people their personal space and time. Realise that people also need their privacy, and the fact that you are the leader does not mean you should always occupy their space or intrude into their privacy.

• Avoid Gossiping: Don’t gossip. “Gossipers” are major relationship killers at work.

If you are experiencing conflict with your deputy, colleagues or subordinates, talk to them directly about the problem. Gossiping about the situation will only exacerbate the situation, and will cause mistrust and animosity between you.

As a leader, filter any information that you receive, verify and act on them appropriately.

• Listen Actively: Practise active listening, when talking to your customers and colleagues.

People respond to those who truly listen to what they have to say. Focus on listening more than talking, and you will quickly become known as someone who can be trusted.

• Be Trustworthy: Trust is the clue of life. Trust is the foundational principle that holds all relationships. Proverbs 20:6 says, “Many proclaim themselves loyal, but who can find one worthy of trust?” It is important for you to do what you say.

When you claim to be something, others listen and then watch. They want to know if you can be trusted to deliver on your commitment or if you are a pretender.

You can earn the trust of your deputy or other subordinates by your consistent actions over time. Trusting someone means you believe they’ll do what’s in your best interest.

• Care about your Deputies & Subordinates: As a leader, you must know that people want to know if you care about them as a person or see them as objects, a means to an end.

No one, including your deputy, wants to be viewed as a resource for someone else’s consumption.

They want to be known as a unique individual with life experiences, emotions, and a choice in their work demands. Showing people you care about them requires showing respect, regardless of their position in the organisation or church.

Prayer: Lord, help me build the capacity to be trusted.
Prayer line: Send text only to 09078154261.
E-mail: evangelgospel@yahoo.com
Dr. Chidi Okoroafor
General Superintendent
Assemblies of God Nigeria

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