Settling Down In Marriage

By Kemi Amushan   |   19 September 2015   |   3:23 am  
image source irun

image source irun

AS a woman, we have been fed with a lot since our childhood days. We have been trained to dream of meeting our Prince Charming, first find love, then marriage would come, and the movies we watched also have not helped too.

So, it is no surprise that a good majority of single women are now strong, independent, successful and totally desperate to find the man of their dreams.

Do not get me wrong, it is a lovely long-term goal for any woman to want to find a husband, get married and live with a life companion that loves her dearly.

But the problem is that there are too many women who have become so lost in this thought that they are struggling in their dating lives, and it is ruining them and their ability to attract real love.

They are failing to find the right guy and are getting hurt and damaged along the way. As a result, usually one of two things end up happening:

* Women continue to search for the right guy and end up with all of the wrong guys who have no intention of ever giving them what they want.

* Women grow more desperate and hopeless, lose their self-esteem and eventually never feel worthy enough of marriage.

Ladies, this is not how you find a husband! You can regain control over your dating life and perhaps recalculate your direction towards finding that guy you have been dreaming of for so long.

Let me tell you the truth:
* You are lost because your solution for happiness is wrong.

Since we were little girls, we were taught that marriage would lead to our “happily ever after.” And it does not. Life happens. And there will be some bumps and valleys along the way.

Instead of believing that your joy and happiness will come from getting married, understand that you are in control of your joy and happiness, not the future person you have yet to find.

Once you accept that you can live a “happily ever after” life today, the desperation of finding someone to settle down with will fizz out.
*You are not satisfied with yourself.

Does the thought of spending sometime all alone scare you? If it does, then you probably are not comfortable with yourself. And if that is the case, before finding someone to settle down with, you have to be willing to love yourself and be comfortable with who you are, whether you are in a relationship or not.

So, if you are not satisfied with yourself yet, then chances are, your future husband is waiting on you to get your life together.

Spend a whole lot of time solely focused on giving yourself time, love and attention. And while this may feel foolish, awkward and uncomfortable, the more you do it, the more you will enjoy it, gain clarity and confidence in yourself and your future husband will see that and be drawn to it.
* You are not letting go of your past.

Do you still carry the hurt and pain that you experienced in your last relationship? The thing is, while you dated before and your ex is now an idiot that you never wish to see again, he may have left you feeling hurt, offended and bitter.

These are things you may be carrying with you every time you meet someone new. Do not compare every guy you meet to your ex. And especially, do not assume that they will do the same things that your ex did.

If you are serious about finding your future husband, then get honest with yourself and see if there is still some baggage that you are holding onto.

Once you can release these from your subconscious, you will feel more confident in taking a risk with someone else.

Remember, a man will usually go for a woman who is happy with life, comfortable in her own skin and emotionally stable.

He goes after the ones who know what they want and know what they stand for.

Does that description sound like you? If not, then get real with yourself today, so that your dreams of a finding a husband (who will compliment your amazing life) can become your reality!



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