‘I Cheated On My Fiancé With A Married Man, Regret It, Advice Needed’

TRUE CONFESSION

I CHEATED on my fiancé (boy friend) of five years with a married man. It started innocently and we were friends. Over time I thought this guy was amazing. I knew he was married and what I was feeling was wrong. I and my bf had some minor issues and for some reason i was being side tracked by this other guy and it didn’t help the relationship with my ex. I made excuses, blamed my ex for our problems, when if I’m being honest, it was mostly me. I made the choice to cheat, not him.

   Anyway, one thing led to another and we have been having an affair. I’ve left my bf now, and continued it with this married man thinking it was what I wanted. This man soon dropped me out of the blue. He didn’t leave his wife and it was a few months in. He says he does not love her. 

    On the other hand I have my ex bf chasing me to get back with me even after what I’ve done. I risked everything for this married man and i knew its wrong and although at the time i didn’t regret it, i do now. My ex bf is a good guy and wasn’t treating me badly, even though he did have his faults like everyone else. He has tried too hard to get me back and i just didn’t care at the time because i thought i wanted this man. I’m glad the married man dropped me because it gave me a reality check I needed. I’m now scared to try contact my ex because of my guilt or fear of showing my face again. I do want him back and to show him how much of an idiot I have been

   What do I do here? I love my ex even though I did this awful thing. Although he recently said he wants to work it out, i fear that if i contact him, he will no longer be interested or able to trust me again even though he said he would try.

   I would appreciate advice

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