Finding The Right Man
I think I may have even asked it myself a couple of times. But lately, in simply observing how people meet and “couple up,” I have noticed that dating is mostly a combination of three very simple things- access, opportunity and familiarity.
Have you ever noticed how many people who work together end up dating each other (not a fantastic idea, but it works for some)? This is an example in which all three variables- access, opportunity and familiarity- are present.
If you find yourself wandering into the same eatery or restaurant at lunch break at the same time, odds are that you are noticing that you are generally bumping into the same people, who happen to have the same schedule as you do.
What do you think the odds are that you will find ‘that guy’ in that restaurant the next day? You have probably already seen him.
Let us try this experiment: Think about the type of guy you are attracted to, whether he frequents the gym, enjoys movies, etc and head over to the place that you think you might find him, doing what he loves.
Most women will go to the place they think they will find Mr. Right one time, and because they do not find him on that random time, they think they are not going to find him there.
Let us try this experiment: Think about the type of guy you are attracted to, whether he frequents the gym, enjoys movies, etc and head over to the place that you think you might find him, doing what he loves. Most women will go to the place they think they will find Mr. Right one time, and because they do not find him on that random time, they think they are not going to find him there.
But a woman is not going to find him there when she goes there just one time, even if she happens to see him there on that one occasion, because this scenario is lacking one of the three variables- familiarity.
Sure, he might see her the one time she was there. He might even have thought, “Damn! She is cute!” when he saw her.
Having only seen her one time, he is not familiar with her at all and so he lets her leave without even trying to speak to her.
But if he sees her at the gym that he is at every Wednesday night, for over one week in a row, suddenly, he will find the courage to approach her, because they now have the gym in common.
Now, he has familiarity. He has seen her numerous times and he knows she has seen him (because she is anything, but discreet).
Access, opportunity and familiarity. Understood?So, the next time you see a hot guy or girl in the restaurant on your lunch break, take note of how many occasions you see him/her on.
After the second time (the third time feels like a nice warm number), offer to buy her lunch or a drink or compliment her on something that she is wearing (we ladies love that).
Ladies, compliment his tie or the sexy suit he is wearing (gotta love a man in a suit).
Access, opportunity and familiarity. Try it and lets see how it goes!