Is Settling The Best Option?

image source irun

image source irun

WHEN you are finally in a relationship with someone amazing, you both have a shared outlook on life, have long-term plans together, he respects you, is kind to you, loves you and wants to be with you for the rest of your lives.

Though you may have a disagreement occasionally, you are surprised to find that there is really not anything to fight about.

But something feels different. You ask yourself whether it could really be this easy. Is this really what love looks like or are you just settling for a relationship that is comfortable?

The notion that finding or committing to someone is somehow equal to settling has come up in different conversations I have had with friends recently.

Perhaps we should stop using the phrase “settling down” to express the act of finding your soulmate and living your life purpose together for life can only get more exciting and interesting when you have got your partner in love supporting you.

For most of my life, I believed most people that got together were settling in some way. Not that there was anything particularly wrong with most couples I knew, rather the partner chosen simply was not the partner.

So, I somehow took it that they settled by choosing someone they had not deemed a soulmate worthy for themselves.

If they equated commitment and marriage with settling for someone less than their soulmate, then they would not bother getting married.

Settling for being half-loved and half-committed to. Settling for half-loving in return. Settling for a one-foot-out-the-door kind of relationship. Settling for being alone, even when you really wanted love.

In reality, by resisting the idea of attracting a soulmate partner, all most people ever do is settle while still holding the fantasy of someday finding the real thing.

Is that the kind of life you want to live or settle for?

Have you ever found yourself equating commitment to one special person as settling, selling out or giving up? If you have, here are two things that are important for you to look at.

*Your limiting beliefs about love, relationships, marriage, commitment and yourself.

Do you secretly believe any stories, like any man that really loves you will have something wrong with him? (Not true.) Or that by committing to someone, you will have to sacrifice something (Not true)? Or that, yeah, someone might be great, but there can still be someone better out there for you (your soulmate is the best one for you)?

It is crucial that you transmute any beliefs like this into beliefs that are in alignment with and get you excited about the soul mate relationship you desire.
*Get clarity.

It all comes down to clarity. When you do not know what you are looking for in your life, ideal relationship and partner, your soulmate stays in fantasyland. He is some vague dream “out there.”

And then you may keep dating and meeting people only to never really find him, because you cannot even quantify who he is as a real person.

Your soulmate is a real person. Get clear on who he is. What does he value? What kind of man is he? How does he treat you? What do you do together? What kind of life are you living together?
he more you can clarify who this is as a real person, the more easily you will recognise him when you are getting to know him.

If you still think or feel that committing to someone special is somehow related to settling for less, then I recommend really exploring your beliefs about love and getting very clear about what it is that you want for your life now.

Then you can feel confident that you have not settled for less than the love you really want and your partner can go from being “out there” and into your life.

To the loving relationship we all deserve, good luck in love and life. Cheers!

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