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Finding The Love You Deserve This Coming Year

By Kemi Amushan
26 December 2015   |   3:00 am
THE new-year is just around the corner and for many of us, December is a great time to reflect on the past year and to make a few New Year’s resolutions.
Two hands making a heart shape

Two hands making a heart shape

THE new-year is just around the corner and for many of us, December is a great time to reflect on the past year and to make a few New Year’s resolutions.

It is also a time to wipe the slate clean of all our shortcomings, past mistakes and missed opportunities and begin again with a renewed focus on fulfilling our hopes and dreams.

But all too often, we find ourselves, once again, at the end of a year with little change from the year before.

Those dreams of finding Mr. Right or your resolve to quit being a doormat to a dead-end relationship are still unrealised. And you wonder once again why you cannot seem to make things stick.

How do you intend to make this coming year different? How do you get the love you want in 2016? Before you get depressed or discouraged, things can still change for you. The past does not have to dictate the future.

To finding the right man for you, you need to…

Stop Making Excuses
WE have all done it! Come up with every reason imaginable for why we have not been successful in finding the keeper love we want, why we have not left the guy who cannot commit, why we keep falling for the losers who suck us dry and leave us in tatters, why we are too busy to make meeting new people a priority.

As much as we say we hate the current state of things, the reality is we actually fear change more, and thus, become “comfortable” in our rut. Too comfortable to make a change, to take a chance and venture out into the unknown.

Stop making excuses for why you are continuing to live in what I call “the waiting place” and take responsibility for attracting and keeping the love you desire.
Figure Out What Is Not Working
START by taking the time to go deep to assess your life and determine what it is you truly want from a love relationship and to face the hard, honest truths about yourself and your love life (or lack of one).

It is easy, for example, to get so focused (stuck) on making a current relationship work that you lose sight of what it is you really seek in a relationship and avoid the truth that things just are not working.

Next, figure out what in your life-approach, attitude, priorities, circle of friends, or whatever- that is not working or is preventing you from attracting what you really want.

Sometimes, it is as simple as recognising that your work schedule and lack of time for a social life is preventing you from meeting any guys.

Sometimes, it is accepting that where you are going (bars or nightclubs) to meet guys is not producing the kind of mate you are seeking, which leads me to the need for change.
Commit To Making A Change

TELL yourself that the status quo is not an option.

One of the biggest mistakes women make in their approach to finding love is to keep doing the same thing, or doing nothing, and hoping for a different outcome. They want love to find them.

If you want your love life to change, you have to be willing to stop living in that waiting place, stop waiting for your life or those around you to miraculously change.

Accept the reality that real change requires action on your part. Choose to become the master of your own destiny.

Make Your Love Life A Priority

FINALLY, stop making excuses for why you cannot or do not have time for or even do not deserve what it is you want.

Commit to the changes that are needed and then make taking action a priority in your life.

Finding and attracting the love you truly want is a choice you make and have to take action on.

No matter what this year brought, or did not bring, next year is a new year full of opportunities. After all, tomorrow is another day.

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