Condoms are a girl’s best bet!

Ok so…imagine this, he’s handsome, successful and seems like he is so into you. For the past few weeks or even months you have been talking on the phone, flirting lots and he says he really likes you. You’ve been on a few dates and he may have even introduced you to a few of his friends. Thank God! At long last cupid finally has your file on his desk, girl!

It’s Friday night and you and your new boo have plans to be together. That hot dress you have been saving for ‘the right time’ is going to get worn tonight! Last glance in the mirror and ‘mehn’ you do look hot! Irresistible even!! Your date has called to say he is on your street and will pick you up in a few seconds and he just can’t wait to see you! You know it and he knows it too… tonight is the night. As you walk out of your house to start the date you remember the condoms that have been ‘jonzing’ in your bedside drawer for the past few months but you think to yourself, ‘Nah … what will he think of me if I bring my own condoms?’

It ends up being a really fun night, dinner followed by clubbing at the latest spot in town. You danced the night away with your new man especially when Micheal Jackson’s ‘You rock my world’ song came on. He held your hand, showed you lots of PDA and did not ‘code’ the fact he was with you. You think to yourself ‘For sure he is a keeper!’ Few hours later you are at his place and it’s time to take things to the ‘next level’. Lots of kissing, touching and heavy petting and now you are ready to go all the way but … Err… he’s just not into condoms! Here are a few excuse he reeled off as he kissed you more passionately,

“… you are my girl. I don’t want anything barriers with you”

“… I just got tested, I’m clean, don’t worry”

“… I really want to feel you”

“…I will pull out”

“I know what I am doing …do you think I don’t value my life”

“..I trust you”

He seems so confident, so convincing and smells so good. He’s flat is clean and there are no tale-tell signs of other girls in his life.  You think to yourself ‘I better stop dulling and bag this guy…’, so you give-in and inhale his scent and all.

It’s shocking to think that in 2014 with all the information out there about STD’s and the lot that any girl would agree to have unprotected sex, but it happens.

So now… figure this out, it’s the morning or even afternoon after and your date is now officially over. It was a fun night but the anxieties of unprotected sex are proving to be a kill joy! Fears of STDs and unwanted pregnancy races through your mind. You can’t think straight and you can’t even tell anyone what the heck is wrong with you because you knew better but did less. Oh dear, it’s even turned out to be more trouble than it was worth. Quick drive to the pharmacy to buy the morning-after-pill. Shock horror you had no idea this date would cost you this much (and it was meant to be his treat!) N400 out of pocket expense for the morning-after-pill is not so bad but when you add the sleepless night you are going to suffer because you have to wake up at 2.35am precisely to take the second morning after pill it’s a lot of bother that you would rather have avoided.

It’s been a week since that night and you can’t get your mind off the monsters that come with unprotected sex. Your Internet log shows that you have visited every website known to man via search entries like ‘early symptoms of HIV/AIDS’ , ‘early signs of pregnancy’ , ‘how reliable is the morning-after-pill’ and not to mention ‘what to do when he stops calling’ (but that’s another matter).

Two weeks on, you are still on edge and Google and Bing are still your closest confidants still searching for clues on the internet to see if you are pregnant or have caught an STD. Oh hell! What’s the point you are going the take the bull by the horns…you stop by the pharmacy on your way home from work. N5, 000 for a home pregnancy test kit, N1, 600 for a home HIV/AIDS test, N2, 000 for Chlamydia home test. Oh gosh ‘Awoof really dey run belle’ how did a free date end up costing you N9, 000! Did the actual date even cost him this much?!

Three weeks post ‘steamy night’, Na wah o! Period has turned to American green card! The more you seek – the less you find! To make matters worse your research skills on the internet have belittled your confidence in the home STD tests. Apparently it takes at least twelve weeks since the last sexual encounter to realise if a sexual disease has been transmitted.

Almost four weeks – if your period does not turn up this week you are done! So you go spiritual! Jesus is the answer! You are praying like a pastor’s wife and going to every deliverance service you hear of in town!

Wow! One night and at least twenty eight days of fear, anxiety sleepless nights. The cost of one careless night has a minimum cost of approximately N10, 000 if you get lucky, at least N110, 000 if you get pregnant but don’t progress with it, nothing less than N300, 000 to just carry the baby to term and you can imagine how much more once the baby is born but this is nothing compared to the cost of treating an STD like HIV/AIDS for life! The basic cost for HIV treatment in Nigeria is approximately N7, 000 for a pack of anti-retroviral treatment at LASUTH. Now imagine having to be on that treatment and other suppliant drugs for the rest of your life. It adds up right? The cost of a condom…. N400 max! Except if you are partial to the Louis Vuitton condom brand which is $68 and still way cheaper than the cost of not using one!

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