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What To Do When He Is Commitment-Phobic

By Njideka Agbo
13 March 2018   |   11:00 am
A relationship should be so healthy that it is one of the best zones you should be yet a partner who acts hot and cold can be so unnerving and make you anxious. The thing is, more times than not, a commitment-phobic man shows signs (no matter how subtle) of where he stands. We have…

A relationship should be so healthy that it is one of the best zones you should be yet a partner who acts hot and cold can be so unnerving and make you anxious. The thing is, more times than not, a commitment-phobic man shows signs (no matter how subtle) of where he stands. We have proof.

Less than a year ago, popular hottie and actor Idris Elba, told the world that he is not ready for a commitment. Just a few months down the line, he got on one knee and proposed at his debut directional film (two major life-changing decisions in one day).

What changed?

You have probably read books where the authors told you to improve your sex game or play harder to get. This makes you somewhat desperate. Also, you are likely to look needy and give him reasons why you are not worth committing to.

Here is what to do?

Continue to do what you have always done. It is understandable to see someone who has had a daunting past to avoid commitment completely. Yet, you cannot control who you fall in love with. It could be the little things you do like asking him about his day or how he has been that will make him start to consider committing. Continue to show him attention and respect. Like the ripple effect, it’d grow on him and start to make him think of forever with you.

Have that conversation. You need to be clear about your future together. Start the conversation and use your head (not your heart) when you are both talking. Read his reactions. Women are blessed with intuition.

Know your worth. You were not created to heal his ego or created to convince him to commit. Besides, no one likes to be in a relationship where love is not returned. Besides, some of them never recover or defeat what they are afraid of. In this case, be ready to walk away. S

N.B: Understand that women and men are created differently. Often times, when a man wants to make a big decision about something, he can go quiet. It is usually his way of making an analysis of how what he is about to do will influence a lot of things.

The power to fix your relationship lies in your hands. Don’t be that baby girl who is in a relationship with herself. You are worth it.

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