Why Is Communication Essential In Relationships?

Once couples settle into a relationship, reality begins to unveil. Routines change, attention becomes complacent and what seemed to be point of attraction begins to fade. Ultimately tension gets on the rise and life become unbearable at some point.

Simple things may seem common sense, but you may be surprised how often we fall victim of common sense-either by omission or commition.

Communication is Vital in any relationship! Do these words echo? How often to be sincere have you fallen a victim of communication-either by commition or omission?

“Communication is key” often stands as one of the first counselling advice couples receive at the verge of marriage. Yet this word tends to be the most craved for or neglected, in relationships. Why is that?

Very few of us are able to read another’s mind successfully, so we often make mistakes connected to a bridge in communication in the following ways;

• We communicate wrongly
• Misinterpret communication
• Don’t communicate in time
• Avoid communication all together, Or
• Don’t see the value of communication at all.

The above factors have a way they impact on our relationships. When your spouse always misunderstands your points during a discussion, there is either an intellectual communication gap between you too or someone hasn’t mastered the best way to communicate with the other yet. This is very important, ‘cos what you say, the manner with which you say it or how it is perceived, determines whether or not there will be peace between you both.

To drive this point home is in saying that you need to up your communication level to maintain a fulfilling relationship. Start by sincerely asking your spouse or someone else who can be of help how you can successfully pass your views to your spouse without necessarily hurting him/her. You can even take note of those points your spouse mention as the reason for vexation when you both discuss under calm environment. By observing those points, you can try to apply them when next there is something to address.

The above explains the first two factors on our list above-‘communicating wrongly & misinterpreting communication’.

The next on the list says, ‘communicating in time’. It’s important to express things that give us concern in time before they weigh us down. In time here means ‘before it starts to weigh down’.

Little behaviours that bother us can become more irksome over time if unaddressed. This is why it’s good to address problems early before an irritation of it accumulates to anger.

Now how many times do we fall victim of this scenario? The answer to this question is, ‘often times’!

Have you pause a minute to find out why people don’t like to address issues that bother them in time? The answer is obvious.

We are scared our opinions may cause a misunderstanding between we and our partners , more so, we often don’t want to step on toes-because a couple of times when we have tried airing our views, we appeared to have been misunderstood.

So when this happens, our go-to option becomes a delayed unease or a resolution not to bring up certain unaddressed issues again. But just because it is delayed or unattended to, does it make it solved? Of course not!

In fact, if there is anything I have learnt over the years concerning communication, it is that, the more an issue is delayed, the more we harbour little-little grievances that lead to hatred, contempt irritation and finally an outburst!

So if you were ever going to address an issue, why wait for it to escalate?

You want to avoid some pretty ugly arguments that a delayed grievance can lead to in relationships? Try to discuss it in time all together, and discuss it calmly in a manner your spouse will love to be approached.

This answers ‘communicating in time and not avoiding communication all together’.

Finally, whether we like it or not, there is value in communication.

• It opens way for better understanding of one another; be it in marriage, organisation, church or otherwise.
• It brings peace of mind
• It helps productivity and fulfillment
• It fosters oneness
• It leads to trust
• It paves way for a peaceful environment to co-habitate.
• It saves you some headaches and health problems

You may have misheard or misread something your partner said or did and taken it totally out of context; clarify before freaking out about anything. Even though we may feel that we know our partners well after being with them for several years, remember that we all grow and change over time, and methods of communication must change along with us as we expect.