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Cash At First Sight

18 September 2015   |   2:36 pm

Your love is magical‘, like Michael Jackson, but your cash will do better. Those were the words that night as I presented my honest manifesto. In all honesty, I was delusional. The reality was that I couldn’t execute the details of the manifesto if I didn’t have cash.

So what to do? Instead of being a b***h about how women of this generation don’t care about love. I set out to work. I was working for an Insurance firm in Lekki, I was staying in Ikorodu. I hardly had time to even see her. I had to save to have a decent meeting with her. Decent implying that we meet on Awolowo road, I mean the Tastee Fried Chicken fast food. I spend at least 2,500 Naira and miss the staff bus that drops me off at Iyana Oworo.

Lagos is a tough place. But hey, where else should an aspirational Abeokuta boy like me be? Where the grind is of course. I have always held the belief that the type of woman a man loves is a sight of what he will be or what he can be. At worse, it reveals the spirit at work inside him. It’s no little feat, that an Egba nigga like me can hold this babe for a monthly meeting at least. She is so hot, that her beauty started to rub off on me. Anytime we met, I was always at my best. The best things in life are free, but not this one. It costs me 2,500 per meeting and will cost more to win her.

Back to work, back to the strategy to grind so that I can I afford this lifestyle called Jennifer. Lekki girl, daughter of a retired police AIG who believed in a Spartan conduct of family affairs. Jennifer with her father’s well lined purse and GMG (Ghana Must Go) recently got a Samsung Galaxy Duo phone. I could not even buy her an iPhone 4S at worse. I had a list of things I will get for this girl and that informed the list of things I needed to do for myself.

To keep her in check. I invested in a bespoke suit. I sourced the material from Tinubu after speaking and negotiating from a philanthropic angle with the Igbo seller there. By the way, I am Igbo, just that aspiration got my dad, a chemist from the hallows of a small section of Umuahia to relocate to the South West. It’s all about the good life. Jennifer is Igbo by the way. So I got a tailor, there and then to make the suit. Very great local and cheap tailor.

Next, I got data for my Instagram, where I kept taking and filtering pictures and made sure Jennifer saw them. The packaging was necessary to communicate hope at least.

Then I set out to get another job. This was difficult, but I kept trying. I then got a loan of 200 thousand from RenMoney. My aunty sent me 150,000 after I told her about the investment potential of Jennifer. She dotted on me as a child till now and appreciated my social climbing drive. She was one herself. She stays in Lekki Phase One with her oil and gas husband. I got a Golf 3 at least to move inter-State; Lagos to Ikorodu everyday.

Finally, prayers were answered and I got a job with one firm there in Lekki, through my aunty. It was significant in package and there I knew I nailed it.

The next time we met, it was at The Place over a plate of Pasta and Asun. That was the start for that day. We got into a cab after to Oriental for drinks with new colleagues from work. This continued till I got my machine- Honda Evil Spirit. Then she knew I was the one. Then I also knew, that Cash at first sight can easily be love at first sight.

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