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Is He Worth The Hustle?

By Elsie Godwin 01 May 2018   |   12:30 pm

The need to have someone special in your life may make you overlook some vital qualities you should pay attention to in a long-term partner. This need puts you in a position where you illuminate unimportant qualities and become a slave to emotional rush. All the while, telling yourself that they have to be the one for you.

Sometime last month, I had a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend which centred on the ideal partner.  We talked about how most women bother about partners who give them little or no time. Probably only contacts them once they see a social media update. As much as I agree that we cannot tell the heart who to love, we can, however, be very mature and deliberate in choosing the emotions we decide to act on.

African American couple outside

Here are few questions you should ask yourself about that partner you are hustling for:

 

  • What standards and principles have you set for yourself? Will they respect them?
  • How do they conduct themselves when you are not there?
  • What are their work ethics like?
  • Who are their friends?
  • Do they have a mentor or someone they look up to and can caution them when they get out of hand?
  • Do your goals align?
  • When you are feeling down and weak in spirit, will they be there to lift you?
  • Do they support, encourage and motivate you to do better and be a better person?
  • Are they trying to change or improve you?

New York, NY, USA — African American woman with engagement ring holding fiancee’s hand — Image by © Roy Hsu/Blend Images/Corbis

When you sincerely answer the above questions without emotions, you will come to a definite conclusion about your potential life partner.

There are stages in life when you begin to understand that dating is no longer for fun but intentional. This does not mean that you cannot decide to be with someone for fun, but you are at a stage where you leave nothing hanging in the air. Lay your cards on the table with confidence and poise because you know what you need, where you are headed and the person you want on that journey with you.

A lot of times, we stay protected from things we don’t see but, because we are so caught up in our feelings, we can’t see past them.

So, ask yourself why you want that man or woman to be part of your life. Is the hustle worth it?

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