Tired of Him!
Meet our Agony Aunt Ego. Like most women there are two sides to Ego. Let’s call her warm side Lady Ego the good girl who could very much be your pastor’s wife or the dotting big sister you never had. She’s loving, level headed, polite, pleasant, always diplomatic, and sympathetic. She’s the voice of reason most of us need when we run into the complexities of life. She sees the good in everybody and every situation. Lady Ego is a true lady every woman would be proud to call their friend, every man would want to marry and every mother in law prays into the family. Now meet Ego-pepper! She’s the life of the party. The friend you need to have on speed dial when you “need to get them before they get you!” A street wise savvy mama with loads of tricks up her sleeves. She’s simply a sharp girl who is up for every challenge and never goes home with her tail between her legs.
Join Lady Ego and Ego-pepper weekly as they take on your issues and give you their heartfelt advice. Members of the DW Community will get a chance to vote for their preferred solution to your dilemma and share their experiences with you. Indeed a problem shared is a problem solved in the DW Community.
Diamond Woman…. Every Woman!!
“Tired Of Him!”
I have been married for 4 years now with a beautiful daughter. I am tired of the man I call my husband because:
1. He never carries me along with whatever he does (he discusses everything with his family)
2. When his family wants to visit they don’t call me to tell me it’s only him they call to inform
3. He talks to me without respect
4. He has no pet name like baby, sweetie or darling for me
5. He nags a lot unnecessarily, frowns a lot even to outsiders
6. He treats me like an outsider e.g. no planning together for the future as a couple (plans things with his family)
7. When I make my hair he does not notice or admire me even though other people complement my style.
8. Same thing goes for my cooking he eats everything but does not say thank you or appreciate my efforts he’d rather nag
So my dear Ego that’s the situation I find myself in, I have talked to him severally about it but still no improvement. I am not just happy in the marriage please advise.
Clearly your husband has started to take you for granted and that my dear is a reversible trait. Words may not be enough to make him respect and appreciate you again; you have to give him a reason to! Here are a few tips on how to accomplish that in the shortest time possible.You have to win his attention again. He has to begin to see you as more than a home maker, he needs to remember all the reasons he married you in the first place. Keep fixing your hair and looking good. Try and look for things to keep yourself occupied. Take make up lessons, read a new book, start exercising, take an online course let him see you are making a conscious effort to make yourself better. Be cheerful! Remain warm and cordial towards him. Keep your cool no matter how much he provokes you.All these you should do more for yourself than for him. This should help build your confidence and make you happier. I am sure he will soon begin to appreciate the new you and this will help bring romance and fondness back into your marriage.All the best Omalicha, the Diamond Woman community is rooting for you!xxx
Are you smiling now? Lol… Very good!
This is what I want you to do tonight…when your husband gets into bed and looks like he wants you to come and perform your ‘wifely’ duties instead of crawling into bed next to him; I want you to go and wear your sexiest, skimpiest lingerie and catwalk up to the mirror in your room, look directly into the mirror and start to hail your reflection with plenty of swagger like this ….
Omalicha sweetie…oh yes!!
(Do this until the ‘shine’ in your husband eye is competing with the florescent bulb in your room) When you finish hailing your reflection in the mirror announce to ‘the room’, “… until somebody starts calling me these names the ‘Omalachi Candy Store’ is closed!” Then quickly change into your thickest pyjamas, climb into bed, face the wall and fall into deep ‘uninterruptable’ sleep!Omalicha I promise you, your husband will soon remember how to smile at you and call you all sort of pet names – Sharp! Sharp!!Seriously though Omalicha, I have read your email and I can’t see what is so difficult about your marriage that makes you want to leave your hubby! I am not saying his behaviour is ideal…but it is certainly not serious enough for you to flee your home! Listen, when I got married my mother told me that the marriage is an adventure and that you will see many things and as a result develop many survival skills you never knew you had!
Ok… so he does not compliment your hair… eh, tell yourself that your hair is fine now?! …and he does not praise your cooking… eh, give yourself a high-five when you ‘remix’ ingredients in your kitchen abi?! …and his family does not tell you they are visiting…so? What better excuse when there is no food waiting for them to eat when they arrive in your house! …and what again Omalicha? What?! What again are you complaining about that other women have not seen? Abeg! If your marriage is throwing yams at you, you better learn how to pound yam fast!
Omalicha the two golden rule for happiness in marriage are:
– Until you learn to appreciate yourself your husband won’t appreciate you!
– You must never carry last! #facts!
My dear, you need wisdom to stay married, and a very thick skin to become happily married! I suggest you join our MRS. Club so that you can learn on the job faster. You have been married for four years now so you should know what these men are like. The moment you stop making your husband the centre of your universe and focus on other things that can make you happy you will see how fast he’ll start to demand for your attention and how you will soon become the centre of his universe. Just ignore his bad behaviour and you’ll see how fast he will change when he realises that your moods are not controlled by him.
My dear a confident wife is a happy wife o! …can I get an Amen?!!!!
Good Luck Dear!