Parents: a major cause of child delinquency

Having celebrated Children’s Day few months back, there is a recent finding that the prevalence of bad behaviour in recent times has increased by over 33 per cent. Every sane parent in this world wishes and prays that their child(ren) become more successful than they are. As a result, there is so much unnecessary pressure parents place on children, consciously or unconsciously, in order for these kids to be effectively groomed. Unfortunately, this pressure sometimes, has more negative effects than positive effects on the child, which is contrary to a parent’s intent of surmounting such pressure on a child.

There are ways, which parents unknowingly contribute to the increased rate of children delinquency. They are:
1. These days, parents unconsciously project certain things to their children, especially in the areas that they (parents) lack. Parents tend to project their insecurities and become very defensive about it and they put in every effort for their children not to be like them.

2. The need for perfection. This is when you expect your child to be the best at everything such as academics, competitions, dancing, sports, music etc.; forgetting that we are humans and not gods.

3. Parents put the same pressure they put on themselves as an adult, on their children, and still expect the same result they expect from themselves. They always ensure that their child’s daily activities are jam-packed. This is ranging from early morning rise and school periods to lessons, extra-curricular activities and homework activity.

4. Comparing your kids with other children. Every single child is unique, and as such, he or she may not posses every common trait we believe all children should have. Every child has his or her own peculiarities.

5. Nowadays, career life now overshadows parental life. Parents barely have time for their kids, and these makes a child to have difficulties in imbibing the values and culture of their parents. This also prompts the consistency of leaving their children in the hands of house-helps and nannies. These house-helps/nannies may possess some illicit behaviour that you are not aware of; and then, you begin to wonder why your children exhibit some unruly behaviour.

6. Some parents splash unnecessary, expensive, materialistic things on their children. When these kids become mature, and they are not able to work and provide such items for themselves, they opt for the easier and dreaded ways, such as stealing, getting into relationships and marriages in order to maintain the high standard that has been set by their parents.

7. Parents make more effort in instilling the culture of the western world on our children, leaving the African/Nigerian heritage and culture in a state of oblivion.

8. In addition, social media is now the major distraction rather than television; it seems to cause more harm than good in a child’s life. Social media is becoming the most important thing to a child’s/teenager’s life. These days, it is quite difficult to have a conversation with an adult or a teenager for about ten minutes without them looking at their phones within that stipulated time. If an adult who is more mature and more disciplined than a child exhibits such, how much more a child/teenager?

These days, children have better relationships with gadgets than with humans. They cannot interact, relate, engage and socialise effectively with people; and physical and social interaction is very key to our emotional and psychological development.

The aforementioned issues usually results to some inappropriate behaviour in children, such as:
• Withdrawal
• Easily irritable
• Low academic performance
• Anti-social
• Lack of focus
• Difficulty to comprehend
• Low self esteem
• Depression
• Emotional imbalance
• Display of destructive behaviour
• Disobedient/Indiscipline
• Ill manners

HOW CAN THESE BE PREVENTED OR CHANGED?
1. Parents should know that a child does not function and be active as adults. Child needs rest physically, emotionally and psychologically.

2. Every child has its own God given skill, and it is very essential we parents identify and nurture such skill early enough. Stop comparing your child(ren) with other kids. Neither should other children’s skills be used as a parameter for your children.

3. Parents should know that the same way they invest in their career should be the same way they should invest in time for their children. The income and assets you garner will still end up being willed to your children. As parents, you will not like to pass your legacy to a child who is not mentally and physically capable to inherit it; which was as a result of your parental negligence.

4. Parents should be wary of passing their insecurities to their children. What we see in the society today is a reflection of the mistakes that we are making in our families today.

5. Give your children the chance and opportunity to be themselves and to succeed. The best tool for success is authenticity and originality. They should avoid following trends.

6. Parents hardly allow their children to play and socialise among their peers these days. Parents are encouraged to instill the good old children social lifestyle on their children. A dose of mingling in the neighbourhood environment is healthy.

7. Parents, let your children be children! Do not rub off a child’s childhood. Stop scolding a child for being a child. Avoid using phrases such as; Grow up! Stop acting childish! Can’t you think? In this way, you are wiring that child to fail because you investing negativity in that child. Allow your child to blossom, allow your child to be his/herself; create an enabling environment where the child is given every chance to healthily strive and succeed.

8. Encourage your children to believe in themselves and follow their dreams. Allow them enjoy their childhood and be the best they can be.

Love kindness and empathy are very fundamental in the environment that fosters and nurtures the best children. Allow your child to be authentic and original. The nature of a child is a function of the nurture of a child.

If you want to be coached on becoming a better parent, how to nurture your children in this delinquent generation or if you are having an unhealthy relationship with your children, kindly reach us via email at info@olcang.com or call – 08077077000.

Remember, it takes a community to raise a child. Be open and learn better effective ways to become a better parent and to effectively nurture a child.