Importance of communication: The coaching perspective

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives” – Tony Robbins

When you dialogue with one or more persons, and there is neither understanding nor feedback, then you are just talking and not communicating. The reason you communicate is to create understanding and receive feedback, and when that aim is not achieved, communication becomes futile. As a sender of a message, the effectiveness of communication lies in your hands. So, if the receiver is not understanding, nor you receiving feedback, it is because you are sending the right message in the wrong way. Feedback is never wrong or right. Feedback is a reaction, it helps you realise what you’re doing right or wrong and it helps you adjust what you’re communicating to be understood better.

Words only amount for seven per cent of our communication. 55 per cent of our communication is for body language and 38 per cent amounts for our tonal voice. This means that 93 per cent of what we communicate is not comprehended because more attention is placed on the way it is received. What really makes you communicate properly is your body language and your tonal voice and this is because your subconscious amounts to 90 per cent of your performance, behaviour and everything you do. Therefore, for you to be able to pass on a message, you need to lean to master your body language and the tone of your voice, as they are very important for excellent communication.

There are different communication styles in which people receive and understand messages better. They are:
1. Visual:
To those who belong to this category, a picture says a thousand words to them. They are interested in how your message looks. They tend to describe in words, the images they depict in their mind. They also use gestures a lot. They find it difficult to remember verbal instructions. They are less distracted by noise and they use visual statements such as: “I see what you mean”, “I get the picture”, “It appears more logical” “It looks interesting”

2. Kinaesthetic:
When this category of people speak, there are long pauses between statements and they process things that are said to them to determine the feelings they get. They respond well to touch and physical rewards. They use few hand gestures and usually stand closer to the person they are talking with. They utter statement such as: “It feels right”.

3. Audit tonal:
This category predominantly does this rhythmically. They talk to themselves, either internally or externally; they may even move their lips when they’re reading. They memorise things in steps or sequence and like to be told things and hear feedback in conversations. They are interested in what you have to say. They can be excellent listeners and enjoy music and spoken voice. They tend to use auditory statements such as: “That rings a bell”, “That clicks”, “That sounds right”.

4. Auditory Digital:
This category of people exhibits the characteristics of the other three communication styles. They place a high value on logic and also like detail. They also use words, which are abstract with no direct sensory link. They use statements like, “I understand your motivation” “I think I understand what you are saying”.

Therefore, it is essential that the characteristics of how the recipient receives messages be known before a message is being relayed. It is important to communicate to people according to their communication style in order to pass across the message clearly and in order for the message to be received properly. The core purpose of any communication is UNDERSTANDING. The uniqueness in coaching is that clients are not being told what to do, but rather, coaching makes people understand whom they are in order become better versions of their present selves.

A genuine coach does not give you answers; rather he or she elicits the answers to your problem through the use of questioning methodology and the coaching tools. With the aid of coaching tools, coaches ask their clients a lot of questions until their clients come to an understanding of themselves or their problems; which is the reason communication is very important in coaching.

The issues that arise from communication in coaching include:
• When the client does not effectively communicate his or her problem to the coach.
• When the coach is ignorant of the type of transmission type his or her client possesses.
• When the coach is not using the right coaching technique, as well as asking the right questions.

How Coaching Makes Us Communicate In The Proper Way:
“Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people” – Jim Rohn

Communication is a process that transforms during its process. While passing an information, you are talking, first sentence goes out, hits the target audience and you get your feedback; Your feedback helps you understand the target audience. You then re-align the message, or the way you send the message in order for it to be understood a little bit more. Unknowingly this process makes the way you communicate with the person transform positively.

Coaching gives a clear understanding of things you’ve done in your entire life. Coaching is a skill set that everyone should have, you don’t necessarily have to be a coach, but going through coaching and having a coach is very essential to one’s life. Coaching helps to be conscious of how a message is passed across; it helps you to be more analytical as to whether or not your message has been passed effectively. It helps to be receptive to feedback, to understand what could have gone wrong.

“The art of effective listening is essential to clear communication, and clear communication is necessary to management success” – James Cash Penney

Never underestimate the power of listening! You have to understand your audience; you have to be able to empathise with your audience. The most important thing to do is to listen and understand your audience. You have to put yourself in the shoes of your audience so that it helps you communicate with them on a deeper level. That is what helps you become an excellent communicator. This helps you connect with your audience and create rapport with them.

Also, the idea of being coached and the idea of being a coach are two different things. Being a coach requires that you have the capacity to go through the coaching system and are passionate about helping others to become better people. If you are someone that wants to do things better, interact better, communicate better, and be a better asset to your life, career and relationship with people; then coaching is essential to you.

“Skill in the art of communication is crucial to a leader’s success. He can accomplish nothing unless he can communicate effectively.” – Anonymous 21

If you want to be a coach or you want to be coached; and if you want to enhance your communication skills, send us an email at info@olcang.com or call 08077077000

The Catalyst, Lanre Olusola Africa’s Premier Life, Mind, Emotions & Behavioural Change Coach